Operation Brain Weasels Cont.

[netgirl_y2k]

When last we spoke of this I had been referred to a psychologist with the very strong implication that I shouldn't expect to be seen anytime before the Cylon uprising; which turned out to mean we'll see you in about a month, possibly because in what I can only assume is some sort of money saving endeavour the NHS now offers therapy over the phone. I was a little suspicious of this at first because it seemed a little wishy-washy and tell-me-about-your-feelings (I can be a judgemental arse at times, I try to temper this) but also because... telephone therapy, really?

Anyway the therapy sessions turned out to be lovely, in that way that having someone focused entirely on your feelings and problems for hours at a stretch is lovely and indulgent. I'm not sure how ultimately helpful it would have been alone, because as the therapist said, I don't seem to have any huge underlying psychological issue which needs to be addressed (although my grandmother's death being tied up with my own loss of occupation and purpose as her carer possibly fucked me up slightly.)

I start a course of cognitive behavioural therapy next week, which I feel really good about, because it's something I can apply myself to, you know? And I've got breathing exercises and relaxation exercises and some emergency pills for the interim. Although, to be entirely honest, the breathing exercises have turned into sit still and write fanfiction in your head (while also breathing) exercises.

Yeah, so all in all, I'm feeling good; certainly better than I did a few months ago when I was considering taking the canine valium that the vet had given me for the dog when he was freaking out at the fireworks.

Comments

[lilacsigil]

I'm glad it's working well for you! A lot of people who are "ugh feelings" seem to do well with cognitive behavioural therapy, so good luck!

[netgirl_y2k]

I mean the therapist was lovely and insightful, and clearly in the right line of work, but I did waste half of the first session sulkily thinking, "I don't need therapy, I'm British, I have tea and repression!"

Which is stupid, because if this hadn't gone well beyond tea then I wouldn't need therapy, cognitive behavioural or otherwise.

[adafrog]

Glad you're feeling better.

[hibernate]

Therapy by phone sounds intensely terrifying, but I suppose not everyone shares my fear of phones. I've had good experiences with CBT myself, so good luck with that. Distraction by means of writing fic in your head has also worked well for me. :P Glad you're feeling better!

[netgirl_y2k]

Well, they phoned me for my appointments, if I'd had to phone them I still wouldn't have had the first one. I'm alright at human interactions in person or in writing, but if I can't see their body language or analyse their every comma (for signs that they secretly hate me, you know. Blimey, no wonder I ended up needing therapy) I flail a bit.

[kmo]

i'm so happy you're feeling better and that the therapy is working for you. telephone therapy sounds a little sketch, but i know some people are doing skype therapy, so i don't see why not. one of the positives of the CBT style is you can really feel like you are making progress with the little exercises and everything.

ha, writing fanfiction in your head + breathing exercises sounds like a winning combo to me!

[netgirl_y2k]

I think I would have found the idea of telephone therapy more sketchy if it weren't an official NHS thing. I was brought up to be ridiculously trusting of the NHS: "You want to sell my organs on the black market? Oh. Well, if you're sure it's for the best."

But in the end it was really helpful; I mean, a lot of stuff I already thought I knew from my own reading and over-analysing (some prehistoric fight-or-flight setting in my head has become jammed on the ARG BEARS! setting) but it's somehow different hearing it from a trained professional.