netgirl_y2k

the spy who loved (to drive) me (crazy) by dollsome (ASOIAF/GoT, Jaime/Brienne)
In which Jaime and Brienne are spies infiltrating a swanky black tie soiree, and desperate times call for desperate measures. And kissing.

I almost didn't read this, because my preferred flavour of AU with ASOIAF is canon divergence. But I would have missed out, because this is fantastic. Oh, Jaime, your not remotely secret feelings about Brienne will never not be endearing in any context.

The Princesses and the Penis Symbol by sophinisba (Merlin, Morgana/Vivian)
Morgana decides to marry a princess and get the hell out of Camelot.

What can I say? I'm always saying how I want Morgana to get the hell out of Camelot and find some nice princessly type to serve, and Vivian is my princess of choice. Perfect ficlet with a perfect title.

Fic Rec: Not Quite a Five-Star Getaway (The Church of Mad Love Remix) by fitz_y (Merlin; Morgana/Morgause) which is a remix of a modern AU I wrote ages ago, although this one is better. You know how I'm always saying that there should be the sort of gleefully ridiculous AUs about the girls of Merlin as there are about the boys. Well, this is it. Also, Morgause totally would have read Machiavelli when she was a teenager.

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Speaking of remixes, I accidentally wrote another couple of mini-ones.

Ever After (the bit player remix) (ASOIAF; Sansa Stark, various characters; 1172 words)
If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.

Queen of Air and Darkness (the art of siegecraft remix) (Merlin; Morgana; 407 words)
Morgana is called the Cruel Healer, Lady Death, the Queen of Air and Darkness.

Firstly, a fic rec: any plans I had for Saturday morning disappeared into reading remember spring swaps snow for leaves by fallingtowers (ASOIAF; Jaime/Brienne; 28k) which is the epic, heartrending, and rich story of what happens to Jaime and Brienne after ADWD, and which gives me all of the Brienne feelings, all of them.

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Then I came across this post about A sense of disconnection from fandom, and how we deal which was really interesting as it's something that I've thought about a lot having felt increasingly disconnected from fandom for the last couple of years.

And I think, a lot of it is down to me. The way I do fandom hasn't changed, I still use fandom the way I've always used it, to distract me from things I don't want to deal with, but there's a world of difference between reading fic because I don't want to do my psychology coursework, and reading fic because I'm trying not to think about whether I should put my grandmother into a home and how I'll afford it if I do. I mean, that's a lot of pressure to put on some blameless little fic. Also, for a long time, really since souring on Merlin and deciding that I'm pretty much just waiting out Moff Time on Doctor Who, I haven't had a main fandom. The result has been that I've tried to force fannish feeling for things like Being Human and Legend of the Seeker (both of which I love, but not in the fannish way I loved Doctor Who, Merlin, or Buffy back in the old days) that weren't there. And, as with all things in life, when you try to force enthusiasm that isn't there you end up enjoying yourself less. Of course, now I've Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire, a fandom where I'm still in the first, well, second, flush of love, but because most of that fandom takes place so heavily under f-lock it's easy to feel like you're talking to yourself.

But, also, I think fandom generally has changed a bit too. Like it's much less concentrated on LJ/DW than it used to be, and I have a strange reluctance about tumblr. I had one for about a week before I deleted it in a fit of "I don't-- What is-- I don't understand--"

I don't know, maybe I'm just old and crotchety. But I do think the thing is to engage with the parts of fandom you enjoy and ignore the bits you don't.

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Speaking of, Remix sign ups are happening, and I am torn. I love the idea of remixing and think some of the best fics I've ever written have been remixes, but my two qualifying fandoms are Merlin and Doctor Who, both fandoms where my fannishness depends upon a pretty, er, selective engagement with canon and fandom.

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That seven questions meme is doing the rounds again, basically, if you would like questions say so and I will endeavour to provide. Here are some questions mfirefly10 gave me.

( Coffee, ASOIAF, and my year as controller of the BBC )

I was thinking about how come I wrote so much less in 2011 than I had in previous years, because God knows I wrote the first two paragraphs of any number of stories that I then deleted in a fit of God, this is awful, why do I even bother? and how this was probably less about writing than it was my total lack of self-esteem or confidence in the last year. (Being better about this is one of my New Year's Resolutions, btw.)

Anyway, this meme was doing the rounds yesterday:

Day One: In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator.

And I thought it might do me no harm to remind myself that I am occasionally rather good at this. So, the three fics that I think back on and smile, somewhat smugly are:

Her Heart Beat Like a Wolf (A Song of Ice and Fire; Sansa Stark & siblings; PG; 3200 words) All of my feelings about Sansa Stark.
Like a Fish Needs a Bicycle (Merlin; Morgana/various female characters; PG-13; 8900 words) All of my feelings about Morgana.
Walk Softly and Carry a Magic Sword (Legend of the Seeker; Cara/Kahlan; PG; 5500 words) All of my feelings about Cara, and about Cara's feelings for Kahlan.

Um, I don't know what that says about me, other than that I have many feelings about female characters and enjoy telling you about them.

And then day two was:

In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you did not create. See if you can rec fanworks that are less likely to be praised: tiny fandoms, rare pairings, fanworks other than stories, lesser known kinks or tropes. Find fanworks that have few to no comments, or creators new to a particular fandom and maybe aren't well known or appreciated. Appreciate them.

And a few days ago I was putting together a recs list for ASOIAF/GoT for someone, and I thought a few of you might appreciate it too.

( 8 ASOIAF/GoT fic recs, and a bonus Merlin vid rec )

This Christmas has been an Abomination Unto Nuggan.

Last week my Grandmother was hospitalised with an infection, and they sent her home the day before Christmas Eve. I think they must have been trying to clear the wards for Christmas, because there's no way she should have been released. But by Christmas Day she was seeming much better, better enough that I felt comfortable leaving for a few hours to have dinner and watch Downton Abbey with a girl. And it was all lovely until about midnight when the hospital called to say that the police had found my Gran wandering the streets.

In that moment I aged forty-seven years. My Gran is ninety-three, she's housebound, she hasn't left the house in about five years without a wheelchair and at least three members of the family for moral support. I still for the life can't figure out how it happened. Still. I should have been there.

I suppose, if there is a brightside, it's that my Gran doesn't remember anything about it, and the police found her before she hurt herself or caught pneumonia, and it means she's been readmitted to hospital which is where she should have been all along, as any idiot could have told them.

And while all this is happening I'm the only one here, because everyone else has fucked off on holiday. And my Dad wasn't deigning to check his e-mail or answer his phone. It's funny, it must be a sign of ageing, when I was a teenager and my parents went abroad without me they used to say: We'll call every day (please, don't) We'll e-mail (I won't answer) We'll send you a messenger pigeon (Mu-um, please get on the plane.) Now that I'm older, I don't hear from them for a week and I go: Oh God, they've died, they've actually gone and died on me, the bastards.

Anyway. My Gran's in the best place, and it transpires that my parents were just ignoring me. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Hide in fandom. That's a plan.

I haven't read many Yuletide fics because of, you know, the giant upsetting nervous breakdown, but what I have read has been spiffing.

Too Many Cooks (Make Out All Over The Kitchen) (Lost Girl, Bo/Lauren) This was very exciting for me because nobody has ever written me a Yuletide Treat before, but it is also totally adorkable. Bo being noble and Lauren being geeky, with cooking and make-outs.

Countdown to the Start (Lost Girl, Bo/Kenzi) Usually I like Bo & Kenzi's friendship, but this fic really works and manages to sell it as a ship, especially with how much Kenzi means to Bo.

Passing-bells (Being Human, Nina/George) Which has a pitch-perfect Nina voice and is everything I ever wanted to read about Nina's werewolf pregnancy.

The Place Where I Belong (Downton Abbey, Sybil/Gwen) Post-S2 fic where Sybil turns up on Gwen's doorstep. Lovely and perfect, with a brilliant cameo from Lord Grantham.

Okay, I've got a couple of hours before visiting so I'm going to listen to some podfic and continue browsing the amazon kindle store. My sister bought herself a selection of presents "from me", then gave me the receipts and told me to reimburse myself the same amount in books and beer. Can I reimburse myself in other things? I asked. Nope, she said, books and beer.

For anyone who is feeling sour after Saturday's episode of Merlin (Quick review: it turns out there are worse people in Camelot than Merlin and Gaius, and one of them is king, how very depressing) I highly recommend liberal application of this fic:

And I am done with my graceless heart by dollsome (Merlin; Gwen, Morgana) in which the girls meet after 4x09 and there are feelings, and quiet anger, and talking, and it is perfect.

I've discovered the upside of having a broken bone. "I might give the pub a miss because I think drinking might play silly buggers with my painkillers" sounds so much cooler than "I can't go to the pub because I have to stay in, watch Doctor Who, then discuss it with my internet friends."

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In perfect fic is perfect news:

The Ivy Crown by briar_pipe (Merlin; Morgana/Gwen, mostly Morgana) 75k of Morgana being the warrior queen of Camelot, I couldn't be more delighted if it turned out that I actually could control the internet with my brain.

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My very good friend fitz_y is a mod of porn writing workshop comm pornspiration and is looking to get more femslashers involved, and since more explicit femslash can only be a happy thing, if anyone feels the urge... go forth and porn, my children.

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I blame fitz_y and my truly impressive painkillers equally for how I can't stop thinking about topless female sword-fighting and the many ways I could possibly make that work in a fic context.

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Adorable Animals Hugging because, well, it's never a bad time to see adorable animals hugging. Plus, I'm trying to get a little something for everyone in with this post.

Eh, when a plumber tells me he'll be here between 8.30 and 6, that would be less annoying if he'd, y'know, turned up at all.

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I need a haircut. I suspect I've gone past artfully dishevelled into "Good grief, there are things nesting in there."

If I were a proper lesbian I'd just have really short hair and not have to worry about this. I like wrapping my sexuality angst up with my hair angst. Saves time and all that.

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My dog has developed a phobia of his own dog biscuits. Other things he is afraid of: rain, wind, ladders, umbrellas, water, men wearing blue, outside, and next door's pomeranian.

I'm beginning to suspect that he's not entirely normal.

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Fic rec: The Joinery by falseeeyelashes Game of Thrones AU where Ned becomes King and marries Cersei, just a wonderfully realised AU and a brilliant character study of Cersei.

The Dinosaur Detour by hibernate (Legend of the Seeker) Cara & Kahlan adopt a baby dinosaur, Cara somewhat reluctantly.

All This Nonsense by nostalgia (Doctor Who/Discworld) Eleventy meets Nanny Ogg, and that goes about as well as you'd expect.

I do love it when fandom exactly hits my ideal level of ridiculous.

I don't really have much to say about The Almost People ( in which I proceed to say stuff about The Almost People )

Oh, and allow me to interrupt my habitual pretending Merlin doesn't exist to rec you Antebellum a gorgeous, gorgeous Gwen/Morgana vid by such_heights who manages to do more justice to the girls relationship in four and a half minutes than the show managed in thirty odd episodes, and that is because she is suprememely talented and excellent like that.