Fic: She's Hearing Voices
Jun. 24th, 2012 02:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
netgirl_y2kTitle: She's Hearing Voices
Fandom: Warehouse 13
Pairing: Myka/HG
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1128
Summary: Myka was being courted by HG Wells; which might have been quite nice except that Helena was dead, and invisible, and quite possibly a figment of Myka's imagination.
"Bering and Wells, solving puzzles, saving the day," said Myka with a soft smile at Helena.
"Hey, Mykes," said Pete, "are you flirting with the HG Wells who lives inside your head again?"
"I'm not flirting--"
"And I don't mind," added Helena.
"--And she doesn't mind."
"I rather enjoy it, actually."
Before Myka could relay that last point, Pete, believing he'd won the argument, started doing the Snoopy dance.
"You know," said Claudia, "I know HG is dead, and invisible, and only exists inside your head, but as long as she's not doing that dance I can see how she'd look good to you right now."
*
The Warehouse unexploded? Check.
Mrs Frederic back from the dead? Check
Steve back from the dead? Um, it's complicated, but, yeah, sure.
Celebrated nineteenth century author HG Wells living inside Myka's head? Oh God, how is this her life?
"My best guess," said Artie, "is that the explosion triggered an artifact to transfer Helena's consciousness into Myka's brain, leaving Myka the only person who can see or hear her."
"Dude," said Claudia, " that sounds so much worse than being a zombie."
"I know, right," agreed Steve, high-fiving Claudia. "I feel so much better now."
"But," said Myka, "why me, why can't any of you see her?"
Pete and Claudia apparently decided that this was the time for a rousing chorus of Myka and Helena Sitting in a Tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
*
"Of course," said Myka, "there is the possibly that Artie's artifact theory is rubbish, and that I've finally gone completely mad."
"I find the prospect of your possible insanity very attractive," said Helena.
"Okay, and I don't know what to do with that at all."
*
"This is like in Battlestar Galactica where Gaius Baltar had the ghost of Caprica Six living in his head for four seasons," Pete informed her.
"How is it like that?" Myka asked.
"Well, Caprica Six was beautiful and a tiny bit evil, and Baltar loved her anyway."
"This is not remotely the same thing!"
"Well, I'm not saying that Helena is a cylon-- Hey, is she a cylon?"
*
"What does head!HG look like?" asked Claudia. "Is she tiny? Does she sit on your shoulder whispering evil into your ear?"
"Like a tiny Victorian leprechaun," added Steve.
"No, she looks..."
"Unutterably beautiful?" Helena suggested.
"...Like Helena."
*
"No," said Myka.
"No?" said Helena, quirking an eyebrow.
"No, I refuse to be seduced by someone who is quite possibly a figment of my imagination."
"I was thinking it would be more of a wooing, darling."
"Wooing? Where are you even from?"
"Eighteen-Ninety-Nine. Would you prefer to think of it as my courting you?"
"I-I--," Stumped, Myka stammered to a halt. "Also, you can't touch anything!"
"I like to think of that as being part of the challenge."
*
"Your father would be pleased," said Helena.
Of Helena's many odd, odd attempts to seduce Myka that had to be the most surreal yet.
"And you're basing this theory on...?"
"You told me he loves books. You don't think he'd be pleased to see you settled down with a famous author?"
"A nineteenth century author who is a different sex than on her book-jackets and lives only inside my head? Hmm, not so much."
"Details details, darling."
"Also, he thinks HG Wells was kind of a hack."
*
"Even The Time Machine?"
"Yes, Helena, even The Time Machine."
*
"Did you tell him that I'd built an actual time machine?"
"Let it go, Helena!"
*
"Yeah," said Claudia, "it'd be creepy."
"Why would it be creepy?"
Myka agreed that it would be creepy. She just needed to get some outside perspective on exactly why it would be creepy, because she was coming up blank....
"Well," said Pete, "there was a while there where she was going to destroy the world and kill all of us."
"Also," said Claudia, "no one else can see her, so a lot of the time it looks like you're sharing lingering glances with, like, the lamp."
*
"Why now?" Myka asked.
"Hmm?"
"All this stuff about us. Why not back when you were..." Myka trailed off, not wanting to say when you were alive or when you were real.
"Well, as much as I hate to say it, Pete isn't entirely wrong, there was a time there where I was plotting to kill you. Then I was a prisoner of the regents, then a hologram, then Emily Lake. What I mean to say is that there never seemed to be a good time."
"And now is a good time, is it?" Myka asked incredulously.
"It transpires that becoming a disembodied spirit haunting the woman you love concentrates the mind marvellously," said Helena with a wane smile.
*
Between the mountain of paperwork generated by blowing up the Warehouse, even temporarily, and Steve's recurring zombie problem it was a while before the team could concentrate on the problem of HG Wells hitchhiking in Myka's brain.
And as Claudia pointed out, Myka's brain wasn't dribbling out her ears or anything, and it wasn't like her newfound tendency to talk to herself and gaze longingly at inanimate objects was going to make them seem like a stranger group of people to outsiders.
But everything had been filed in triplicate, and Claudia said that she was 98% sure that Steve wasn't going to be eating anyone's brains.
"Of course," said Artie, "this might not bring Helena back."
"What?" demanded Myka.
"Well, there is the possibility that instead of rematerialising HG it could just hoover her out of your brain."
"Hoover?" said Myka.
"Hoover?" said Helena.
"Whoosh," said Artie, making a helpful shooing gesture.
*
"We must try, you know," said Helena.
"But what if you just disappear... Helena, I'd rather have a fragment of you than nothing at all."
"And I'd rather have all of you than a shade. And," Helena added perkily, "there's no way that you could know this yet, but I am fantastic in bed."
Myka burst out laughing at that.
"Just in case you needed a little extra motivation, darling," said Helena.
*
There was a question mark over whether the contraption Artie and Claudia had cobbled together to reverse the artifact's effect and save Helena had worked.
"Can you see me?" Helena asked.
"I could always see you," pointed out Myka. "Pete?"
"Huh, what?" Pete looked up. "Oh, yeah. I can see her. Hi, Helena."
"I can see her too," said Claudia, giving Helena a little wave.
"So," said Myka, gazing at Helena, "you're really here."
"There's only one way to find out," said Helena, tugging Myka to her and kissing her.
Oh yeah, thought Myka, this was definitely real.
The spell was broken by Artie hissing, "Myka, there are children present," and attempting to cover Pete and Claudia's eyes with the palms of his hands.
Fandom: Warehouse 13
Pairing: Myka/HG
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1128
Summary: Myka was being courted by HG Wells; which might have been quite nice except that Helena was dead, and invisible, and quite possibly a figment of Myka's imagination.
"Bering and Wells, solving puzzles, saving the day," said Myka with a soft smile at Helena.
"Hey, Mykes," said Pete, "are you flirting with the HG Wells who lives inside your head again?"
"I'm not flirting--"
"And I don't mind," added Helena.
"--And she doesn't mind."
"I rather enjoy it, actually."
Before Myka could relay that last point, Pete, believing he'd won the argument, started doing the Snoopy dance.
"You know," said Claudia, "I know HG is dead, and invisible, and only exists inside your head, but as long as she's not doing that dance I can see how she'd look good to you right now."
*
The Warehouse unexploded? Check.
Mrs Frederic back from the dead? Check
Steve back from the dead? Um, it's complicated, but, yeah, sure.
Celebrated nineteenth century author HG Wells living inside Myka's head? Oh God, how is this her life?
"My best guess," said Artie, "is that the explosion triggered an artifact to transfer Helena's consciousness into Myka's brain, leaving Myka the only person who can see or hear her."
"Dude," said Claudia, " that sounds so much worse than being a zombie."
"I know, right," agreed Steve, high-fiving Claudia. "I feel so much better now."
"But," said Myka, "why me, why can't any of you see her?"
Pete and Claudia apparently decided that this was the time for a rousing chorus of Myka and Helena Sitting in a Tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
*
"Of course," said Myka, "there is the possibly that Artie's artifact theory is rubbish, and that I've finally gone completely mad."
"I find the prospect of your possible insanity very attractive," said Helena.
"Okay, and I don't know what to do with that at all."
*
"This is like in Battlestar Galactica where Gaius Baltar had the ghost of Caprica Six living in his head for four seasons," Pete informed her.
"How is it like that?" Myka asked.
"Well, Caprica Six was beautiful and a tiny bit evil, and Baltar loved her anyway."
"This is not remotely the same thing!"
"Well, I'm not saying that Helena is a cylon-- Hey, is she a cylon?"
*
"What does head!HG look like?" asked Claudia. "Is she tiny? Does she sit on your shoulder whispering evil into your ear?"
"Like a tiny Victorian leprechaun," added Steve.
"No, she looks..."
"Unutterably beautiful?" Helena suggested.
"...Like Helena."
*
"No," said Myka.
"No?" said Helena, quirking an eyebrow.
"No, I refuse to be seduced by someone who is quite possibly a figment of my imagination."
"I was thinking it would be more of a wooing, darling."
"Wooing? Where are you even from?"
"Eighteen-Ninety-Nine. Would you prefer to think of it as my courting you?"
"I-I--," Stumped, Myka stammered to a halt. "Also, you can't touch anything!"
"I like to think of that as being part of the challenge."
*
"Your father would be pleased," said Helena.
Of Helena's many odd, odd attempts to seduce Myka that had to be the most surreal yet.
"And you're basing this theory on...?"
"You told me he loves books. You don't think he'd be pleased to see you settled down with a famous author?"
"A nineteenth century author who is a different sex than on her book-jackets and lives only inside my head? Hmm, not so much."
"Details details, darling."
"Also, he thinks HG Wells was kind of a hack."
*
"Even The Time Machine?"
"Yes, Helena, even The Time Machine."
*
"Did you tell him that I'd built an actual time machine?"
"Let it go, Helena!"
*
"Yeah," said Claudia, "it'd be creepy."
"Why would it be creepy?"
Myka agreed that it would be creepy. She just needed to get some outside perspective on exactly why it would be creepy, because she was coming up blank....
"Well," said Pete, "there was a while there where she was going to destroy the world and kill all of us."
"Also," said Claudia, "no one else can see her, so a lot of the time it looks like you're sharing lingering glances with, like, the lamp."
*
"Why now?" Myka asked.
"Hmm?"
"All this stuff about us. Why not back when you were..." Myka trailed off, not wanting to say when you were alive or when you were real.
"Well, as much as I hate to say it, Pete isn't entirely wrong, there was a time there where I was plotting to kill you. Then I was a prisoner of the regents, then a hologram, then Emily Lake. What I mean to say is that there never seemed to be a good time."
"And now is a good time, is it?" Myka asked incredulously.
"It transpires that becoming a disembodied spirit haunting the woman you love concentrates the mind marvellously," said Helena with a wane smile.
*
Between the mountain of paperwork generated by blowing up the Warehouse, even temporarily, and Steve's recurring zombie problem it was a while before the team could concentrate on the problem of HG Wells hitchhiking in Myka's brain.
And as Claudia pointed out, Myka's brain wasn't dribbling out her ears or anything, and it wasn't like her newfound tendency to talk to herself and gaze longingly at inanimate objects was going to make them seem like a stranger group of people to outsiders.
But everything had been filed in triplicate, and Claudia said that she was 98% sure that Steve wasn't going to be eating anyone's brains.
"Of course," said Artie, "this might not bring Helena back."
"What?" demanded Myka.
"Well, there is the possibility that instead of rematerialising HG it could just hoover her out of your brain."
"Hoover?" said Myka.
"Hoover?" said Helena.
"Whoosh," said Artie, making a helpful shooing gesture.
*
"We must try, you know," said Helena.
"But what if you just disappear... Helena, I'd rather have a fragment of you than nothing at all."
"And I'd rather have all of you than a shade. And," Helena added perkily, "there's no way that you could know this yet, but I am fantastic in bed."
Myka burst out laughing at that.
"Just in case you needed a little extra motivation, darling," said Helena.
*
There was a question mark over whether the contraption Artie and Claudia had cobbled together to reverse the artifact's effect and save Helena had worked.
"Can you see me?" Helena asked.
"I could always see you," pointed out Myka. "Pete?"
"Huh, what?" Pete looked up. "Oh, yeah. I can see her. Hi, Helena."
"I can see her too," said Claudia, giving Helena a little wave.
"So," said Myka, gazing at Helena, "you're really here."
"There's only one way to find out," said Helena, tugging Myka to her and kissing her.
Oh yeah, thought Myka, this was definitely real.
The spell was broken by Artie hissing, "Myka, there are children present," and attempting to cover Pete and Claudia's eyes with the palms of his hands.