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It has been a little over two weeks since I moved home to help my parents after my mum took a bad fall and broke her leg.
We were doing pretty well and then the knee of my mum's good leg gave out and she took another tumble and my dad bruised her ribs trying to get her up. This led to the first real argument of my being home: To whit, why dad didn't wait for me, a person whose job requires me to know how to lift frail and injured people without hurting them further, dad said he didn't know that I knew how to do that, and my guy, what do you think my job even is?
(Speaking of work, they're letting me job share for a bit, because the union got it put in my contract one year in lieu of actual money. Honestly, I'm not sure there's anyone actually doing he other half of my job, but I don't have the brain space to feel bad about that just now.)
So my mum has even less mobility than she did when she first got out of hospital. Yay.
Good news though: Freya, the goodest girl in Scotland, who I thought might have trouble not jumping up and staying out from underfoot, and might have to go and live somewhere else for a bit, has been a total star and gets to stay here and keep her usual job of being my friend and keeping me sane.
Anyway, here are a list of films I have watched while holed up in my teenage bedroom:
A Haunting in Venice - I guess people have fun making these, and they make their money back on what is probably not a huge budget all things considered. But it's still kind of a surprise every time they rattle off a new one of these every couple of years. I guess they chose this one to adapt because of the Venice setting, because it certainly wasn't because it was one of Agatha Christie's more compelling mysteries.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny - Other than being, like, half an hour too long, I really enjoyed this. I thought it did a really good job of balancing the nostalgia bait with the new stuff. The de-aged Indy in the flashback looked great; though you can't disguise that an eighty year old moves like an eighty year old and not a forty year old, and they should really stop trying. I would absolutely have watched a sequel with Phoebe Waller Bridge in the lead - they're not going to make one, obviously, given how badly this tanked, and, like, this was a genuinely absurd budget for a movie pretty much no one under the age of forty was ever going to care about.
Morbius - Like, this is a bad movie, but it's interestingly bad...because did you mean to make this movie? Was this on purpose? It feels like the Venom movies were accidentally camp and so bad they're kinda good, and they can't replicate it because they didn't mean to do it in the first place. I look forward to the long read about the financial incentives and studio interference that led to these 'it's Spider-Man related if you squint' spinoffs not just being made, but being this. I am also un-ironically looking forward to Madam Web hitting streaming.
The World to Come - Does anyone remember that SNL sketch with Kate McKinnon that was parodying lesbian historical dramas? Which at the time I thought was a bit disingenuous, like, there have been three of these things, calm down. But this is almost a parody of itself; there's the lingering shots of of hands and mouths, the dead gays for the straight gaze ending, the tastefully shot sex scene that's only shown in flashback. Vanessa Kirby is very pretty, though.
Dune - I missed this when it first came out due to a combination of Glasgow still being in lockdown and the UK not getting HBO Max. It is a very pretty movie, and I'd be tempted to say that it's a shame I didn't get to see it in the cinema, except I feel like hiding from your parents in your teenaged bedroom is the best way to experience anything Frank Herbert's Dune related. I would be miffed that I'm not going to be able to get out to see the sequel on the big screen, but honestly I'm more upset that I'm probably going to miss that Kirsten Stewart bodybuilder movie.
Damsel - Netflix's latest entry into the Millie Bobby Brown industrial complex. I think I liked this movie better when it was called The Princess and at least had some interestingly choreographed fight scenes before Disney booted it into the ether to save on server space. Also the poorly CGI'd dragon had human looking hands and it was weirdly upsetting to look at.
The Lost City - You forget how good Sandra Bullock is in a romcom, and well meaning himbo is a good look on Channing Tatum. Delightful, just delightful.
I am trying to decide between Poor Things and The Creator for tonight, thoughts? Or, even better, anything good you've seen lately that's available to stream?
We were doing pretty well and then the knee of my mum's good leg gave out and she took another tumble and my dad bruised her ribs trying to get her up. This led to the first real argument of my being home: To whit, why dad didn't wait for me, a person whose job requires me to know how to lift frail and injured people without hurting them further, dad said he didn't know that I knew how to do that, and my guy, what do you think my job even is?
(Speaking of work, they're letting me job share for a bit, because the union got it put in my contract one year in lieu of actual money. Honestly, I'm not sure there's anyone actually doing he other half of my job, but I don't have the brain space to feel bad about that just now.)
So my mum has even less mobility than she did when she first got out of hospital. Yay.
Good news though: Freya, the goodest girl in Scotland, who I thought might have trouble not jumping up and staying out from underfoot, and might have to go and live somewhere else for a bit, has been a total star and gets to stay here and keep her usual job of being my friend and keeping me sane.
Anyway, here are a list of films I have watched while holed up in my teenage bedroom:
A Haunting in Venice - I guess people have fun making these, and they make their money back on what is probably not a huge budget all things considered. But it's still kind of a surprise every time they rattle off a new one of these every couple of years. I guess they chose this one to adapt because of the Venice setting, because it certainly wasn't because it was one of Agatha Christie's more compelling mysteries.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny - Other than being, like, half an hour too long, I really enjoyed this. I thought it did a really good job of balancing the nostalgia bait with the new stuff. The de-aged Indy in the flashback looked great; though you can't disguise that an eighty year old moves like an eighty year old and not a forty year old, and they should really stop trying. I would absolutely have watched a sequel with Phoebe Waller Bridge in the lead - they're not going to make one, obviously, given how badly this tanked, and, like, this was a genuinely absurd budget for a movie pretty much no one under the age of forty was ever going to care about.
Morbius - Like, this is a bad movie, but it's interestingly bad...because did you mean to make this movie? Was this on purpose? It feels like the Venom movies were accidentally camp and so bad they're kinda good, and they can't replicate it because they didn't mean to do it in the first place. I look forward to the long read about the financial incentives and studio interference that led to these 'it's Spider-Man related if you squint' spinoffs not just being made, but being this. I am also un-ironically looking forward to Madam Web hitting streaming.
The World to Come - Does anyone remember that SNL sketch with Kate McKinnon that was parodying lesbian historical dramas? Which at the time I thought was a bit disingenuous, like, there have been three of these things, calm down. But this is almost a parody of itself; there's the lingering shots of of hands and mouths, the dead gays for the straight gaze ending, the tastefully shot sex scene that's only shown in flashback. Vanessa Kirby is very pretty, though.
Dune - I missed this when it first came out due to a combination of Glasgow still being in lockdown and the UK not getting HBO Max. It is a very pretty movie, and I'd be tempted to say that it's a shame I didn't get to see it in the cinema, except I feel like hiding from your parents in your teenaged bedroom is the best way to experience anything Frank Herbert's Dune related. I would be miffed that I'm not going to be able to get out to see the sequel on the big screen, but honestly I'm more upset that I'm probably going to miss that Kirsten Stewart bodybuilder movie.
Damsel - Netflix's latest entry into the Millie Bobby Brown industrial complex. I think I liked this movie better when it was called The Princess and at least had some interestingly choreographed fight scenes before Disney booted it into the ether to save on server space. Also the poorly CGI'd dragon had human looking hands and it was weirdly upsetting to look at.
The Lost City - You forget how good Sandra Bullock is in a romcom, and well meaning himbo is a good look on Channing Tatum. Delightful, just delightful.
I am trying to decide between Poor Things and The Creator for tonight, thoughts? Or, even better, anything good you've seen lately that's available to stream?