The Dark Side
Jan. 12th, 2014 03:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
netgirl_y2kFirstly, there is no reason for any human person to drink sambuca. Ever.
Secondly, bloody ouch.
Thirdly, I hope this marriage my best friend is undertaking sticks; partly because I think his future wife is terrific and I wish only for their happiness, but mostly because another stag do might be the end of me.
I have always had mostly straight boys as friends -- partly because a lot of my mates are holdovers from our student days, and at uni I sneered at the idea of the gay society and seeking out friends just because we shared a sexuality (I was an arse back then), and partly because having spent the latter part of my twenties as a full time carer, I ended up mostly socialising with straight couples because the people I knew with very young children were the only ones who were keeping the same sort of hours as me and didn't mind that I was gently rattling with stress and always looked like I'd recently been crying, because that's how they felt too.
And anyway, they're all individually great chaps, but I usually hang out with them in ones and twos, or with their partners. I'd forgotten how much being the only woman in a crowd of straight guys can feel like hard work, even if you're being treated like one of the boys, especially if you're being treated like one of the boys. There were a couple of guys there that I didn't really know, too, cousins of the groom, and a bit more, ahem, laddish than I would usually spend time with, so that made it a bit harder to relax, because I couldn't shake the feeling that I was about to do a midnight set at Chuckles, you know?
I mean, the stag do was fun. Amsterdam was lovely, I'd like to go back someday and see it properly when I'm not trapped in a vortex of "banter" and flaming sambucas. Fun was definitely had, but I do feel like I need a weekend away to recover from my weekend away.
Secondly, bloody ouch.
Thirdly, I hope this marriage my best friend is undertaking sticks; partly because I think his future wife is terrific and I wish only for their happiness, but mostly because another stag do might be the end of me.
I have always had mostly straight boys as friends -- partly because a lot of my mates are holdovers from our student days, and at uni I sneered at the idea of the gay society and seeking out friends just because we shared a sexuality (I was an arse back then), and partly because having spent the latter part of my twenties as a full time carer, I ended up mostly socialising with straight couples because the people I knew with very young children were the only ones who were keeping the same sort of hours as me and didn't mind that I was gently rattling with stress and always looked like I'd recently been crying, because that's how they felt too.
And anyway, they're all individually great chaps, but I usually hang out with them in ones and twos, or with their partners. I'd forgotten how much being the only woman in a crowd of straight guys can feel like hard work, even if you're being treated like one of the boys, especially if you're being treated like one of the boys. There were a couple of guys there that I didn't really know, too, cousins of the groom, and a bit more, ahem, laddish than I would usually spend time with, so that made it a bit harder to relax, because I couldn't shake the feeling that I was about to do a midnight set at Chuckles, you know?
I mean, the stag do was fun. Amsterdam was lovely, I'd like to go back someday and see it properly when I'm not trapped in a vortex of "banter" and flaming sambucas. Fun was definitely had, but I do feel like I need a weekend away to recover from my weekend away.