Today's Post is About Scotland

[netgirl_y2k]

And comes, once again, in the form of a list.

-I am Scottish; you probably already know this, as like many Scots I am compelled to mention the fact that I am Scottish once every three and a half minutes, lest anyone take me for English.

-I have a noticeable if not strong Scottish accent, which I am told is pleasing to the ear. This is the result of having a teacher for a mother, who spent many of my formative years rapping my knuckles with a spoon and saying things like, "the word's not aye, it's yes" and "don't say cannae, it's can't."

-I have lived in and around Glasgow my whole life, it's my home city and I have endless affection for it; so much so that when some friends suggested including it on their honeymoon tour of Scotland I immediately embarked on an enthusiastic sales pitch about the assorted delights of Edinburgh.

-A Glasgow Kiss is a headbutt. A Glasgow Shower is when you've been out drinking all night, haven't showered before work, and douse yourself in an entire bottle of cheap body spray; it's worth noting that this doesn't result in you smelling like anything other than a person who's been out drinking all night and hasn't showered, except now you trigger people's allergies if they stand too close to you.

-Nobody actually eats deep fried mars bars, they're just a trick we play on tourists; chip shop owners in Aberdeen have been known to burst into song at the sight of an approaching American for just this reason.

-Vegetarian haggis tastes better than regular haggis.

-Scotland has some of the most beautiful scenery in the world; I genuinely believe this, I've seen it, usually from the window of fast moving trains while I journey between two places equally grey and industrial and dreary.

-We have lots of fun slang words; of which my favourite is driech which means overcast, miserable, rainy, cold weather. Describes today perfectly, describes every bloody day perfectly.

-The umbrella is a pointless item here, as the rain conspires with the wind and the ground to come at you from every angle at once. The general Scottish constitution is one of a people whose ancestors accepted that they were just going to always be wet; and this is true even if you only got here last week.

-There will be an independence referendum next year. I am in favour of independence, many of my acquaintances are against it; I believe that what most people actually want is some kind of increased devolution, where Scotland will make most of our own decisions, but the UK government would still be there in Westminster for ease of blame should it all go tits up.

Comments

[cleo]

I didn't know you were Scottish! I want to visit Scotland sooooo bad!

[netgirl_y2k]

You should! Once you get past the rain, and the food, and the low level alcoholism, and the fact that its almost exclusively populated by Scottish people, it really is very lovely here.

I jest, of course. Best place in the world. And I hope you get to visit someday.

[cleo]

So back in the 90s D (he was 19, i think) and his then gf (who is now his best friend, lol) drove through Scotland. They stayed in some small town/village/hamlet/IDON'TKNOW one night, and he decided to go to the local pub. Aaaaand apparently the local had a rollicking good time fucking with him and getting him completely trashed. I mean, so naturally he was like I LIKE THESE PEOPLE!

And really, that sounds fun to me! It just look so gorgeous, and you have castles. And you have weird food…I LOVE WEIRD FOOD!

[netgirl_y2k]

Aaaaand apparently the local had a rollicking good time fucking with him and getting him completely trashed.

I had a couple of fandom friends visit Scotland earlier in the year, and on their last night I got them so drunk they barely made their plane. So, yeah, that is the sort of thing that we do here.

[via_ostiense]

Randomly, a friend went to Scotland for a business trip a couple years ago, and she got herself so drunk she barely made her plane!-

ETA: Although given this friend, I don't know whether to attribute it to her being her or something in the air.

[netgirl_y2k]

A combination of both, maybe!

I'm pretty sure everyone who works at the major airports is by this point pretty used to people turning up looking like they shouldn't be out of bed let alone on a plane.

[emei]

The combination of a tendency to copious drinking and rain from everywhere makes Scotland sound rather like home, here it rains horizontally, but where I grew up we say it rains from below. Still would like to go see it someday though.

[netgirl_y2k]

but where I grew up we say it rains from below.

Heh. I like that. Sort of from beneath you it devours tyoe thing.

[kmo]

i'm really curious as to what is in vegetarian haggis.

i've also always wanted to go to Scotland- especially Edinburgh and the Isle of Skye. if i get this grant to go to Rome this summer, i'm hoping to take a UK side trip. fingers and toes crossed.

if you were to come to the states with that accent, the girls would be all over you. i'm not saying it would be like that scene from Love Actually, but yeah, it would kind of be like that scene from Love Actually...

[netgirl_y2k]

Nobody knows what's in vegetarian haggis, we'd ask, but we all remember being a bit traumatised by finding out what's in actual haggis.

For what it's worth Edinburgh and Skye are where I tell people to go when they ask me about coming to Scotland, you'd be hitting the good bits.

I'm also reasonably amusing and unfailingly polite in a very stereotypically British fashion. I'm not saying the guy from Love Actually would have nothing on me, but the guy from Love Actually would have nothing on me...

[umadoshi]

One day I really hope to go to Scotland. ^_^ My poor mother--she's German-American, and somehow I grew up to ignore that entirely and self-identify solely as Scottish-Canadian. (And I'm not even half Scottish, technically; I think my father's mother's family was English.) But I have a Scottish family name with stories attached to it, and I kept it when I got married for a variety of reasons, including the fact that while my husband's name is also Scottish, I don't know his family's stories and am so fond of mine. (Even though they appear to basically boil down to us being a bunch of scoundrals and sheep thieves. *g*)

The general Scottish constitution is one of a people whose ancestors accepted that they were just going to always be wet; and this is true even if you only got here last week.

This, however, is not at all true of me, so perhaps I should be looking to my mom for the source of my constitution? ^_-

[netgirl_y2k]

(Even though they appear to basically boil down to us being a bunch of scoundrals and sheep thieves. *g*)

Hah. My family way back when were crofters and sheep farmers; it's entirely possible that you owe me a sheep ;-)

[umadoshi]

It's possible! *g*

I'm going to randomly tell you a story about my grandfather, in case it might amuse you. Do you know the "MacFarlane's Lantern" thing? (I've seen it enough places to believe it's a genuine name for the moon, rather than an immediate family tale, but maybe it's really obscure or old or something.)

Anyway, when I was pretty little I was prone to reading trivia books for fun, and one of them had a Q and A that was "Q: Why is the moon called 'MacFarlane's Lantern' in Scotland?" and "A: Because a clan by that name stole cattle by the light of the moon in [century; I forget which one(s)]."

So I went to my grandad, appalled, and said, "Grandad, this book says we were cattle thieves! I thought we were SHEEP THIEVES!", all child-outraged. And he basically patted me on the head, and said, "Well, dear, we were definitely sheep thieves. But I imagine if there were any cattle around, we stole them too."

[netgirl_y2k]

Oh, God, that's hilarious. What an excellent grandad, and a good family story too.

[umadoshi]

I think it's my favorite memory of my grandfather. It just makes me so happy. *g*

[lilacsigil]

My dad and all of that side of the family is Scottish, so I keep thinking I should visit (and stay with distant relatives on the cheap!)

The general Scottish constitution is one of a people whose ancestors accepted that they were just going to always be wet; and this is true even if you only got here last week.

Sadly, this is not true of my immediate relatives (who all moved from Scotland to places like Zimbabwe, Malaysia and Australia) but it is true of me. I live in the wettest, coldest part of the Australian mainland and it's *still* not cold and wet enough.

[netgirl_y2k]

I think anyone who isn't constitutionally suited to the grey and damp, if they have the option, takes the first chance to go: well, bugger this for a lark, I'm moving to somewhere that isn't a grey rain soaked wind tunnel.

And, yes, cheapness is a sign of some kind of lingering Scottishness, too.

[st_aurafina]

I just want to say I love her Scottish cheapness! Not that it's cheapness, as such. More like thrift taken to ferocious, superpowered levels, and it is adorable.

[netgirl_y2k]

More like thrift taken to ferocious, superpowered levels, and it is adorable.

Aww.

But, yes, that is what I shall be calling my own, ahem, cheapness from now on.

[adafrog]

I did a school rotation in Glasgow and the Hebrides. It was very awesome. :)

[netgirl_y2k]

The Hebrides? Awesome, indeed. Stunning place.

[adafrog]

They were gorgeous. And very sparsely populated. :)

[st_aurafina]

Everything I know about Scotland, I learned from Trainspotting, so I knew about the Glasgow kiss thing. Probably not all that helpful, in the long term scheme of things. But I so want to move somewhere that rainy and windy. I bet it hardly ever catches on fire there.

[cosmic_llin]

As a Welsh person I can identify with the first point, and the one about the umbrellas. ;)

[netgirl_y2k]

On the other hand, I would not mind being taken for Welsh, and on days when the Scottish rugby team were playing would actively prefer it.