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Every Night is Movie Night vol. 2
Nov. 23rd, 2024 07:03 pmThis weekend I had to go to a Beetlejuice themed tween's birthday party, because time is a flat circle.
M3GAN - PG-13/15 is kind of my sweet spot for horror, because I can be pretty sure that it won't be too gory for me, although I am told there is an unrated version that is muuuch more bloody, and which I will never, ever watch. Even so, this was upsetting. The uncanny valley effect of the little robot girl? Upsetting. The effed up way she moved? Upsetting. The creepy little robot girl killing that dog? Upsetting. The creepy little robot girl kinda trying to seduce the aunt and referring to the real kid as 'their' child? Extremely upsetting.
Like, it's a good movie and I really enjoyed it, but I was very upset.
Paddington in Peru - The second Paddington movie is the greatest cinematic feat of all time, and I will be taking no questions at this or any other time. This third outing was...fine. It's still more charming than not, the cast for the most part look like they're having a crapload of fun - if Olivia Coleman isn't having the time of her life dressed as a nun and singing a musical number about Paddington coming to Peru then she's an even better actor that I thought she was. But it loses a lot from not being set in that stylised, idealised version of London, and, idk, the magic is just gone a bit.
The Fall Guy - BEST MOVIE OF THE WEEK, HANDS DOWN. Utterly delightful, smiled the whole time it was on, big Not a Christmas Movie But a Christmas Movie Really vibes, would even watch the hilarious looking space cowboy movie that the Emily Blunt character was directing.
It made me pine a little bit for the heyday of physical media, because the end credits are intercut with clips of them filming the physical stunts, and in the days of yore there would have been a hour long special feature just about that, and I would have bought the DVD just for that.
Black Adam - There is a parallel dimension where Black Adam is the second lead in a perfectly fine Shazam movie, but we don't live in that dimension, we live in this one where the Rock's ego got in the way, where the plague meant that the actor playing young Billy aged out, where Zachary Levi went insane, and the director decided he just wants to be a guy who makes horror movies, and so we get this movie.
The weird thing is that it's not entirely bad - I for one enjoyed seeing Sarah Shahi getting to do her Lara Croft thing - but it's also not particularly good. It is, in fact, a perfectly serviceable superhero movie circa 2008.
The thing that did strike me about it is how dumb the Rock looks in the Black Adam suit. Like, live action superhero costumes are silly almost by definition, but there's a lot costume design can do, and actors are usually super charismatic people who can style it out. Like, take the Hawkman costume. Super dumb, right? But it's visually interesting to look at, especially in motion, and Aldis Hodge is one of the most charismatic men alive and he makes it work. Whereas every time I saw the Rock as Black Adam all I could think was: how much gear do you have to take to get biceps on your neck and is it too much gear? (Yea, probably.)
The Hunt - Does anyone remember when this movie wasn't going to be released because they thought it might cause, like, a riot? Because the plot on paper was that a bunch of liberal elites were dangerous-game-ing a bunch of Trump voters. Except, it's a Blumhouse satire, so the liberals are a Fox News fever dream of nineteen year old leftists only with all the money in the world, and the 'deplorables' are all the broadest stereotypes imaginable before being killed in a variety of OTT ways, and in a win for reactionary centrism the main character is only there due to a case of mistaken identity.
The final boss fight between Betty Gilpin and Hilary Swank is so camp that put them both in sequins you've got your final series of GLOW right there, and it ends with a Final Girl scene involving Betty Gilpin, a borzoi, a cocktail dress, and a private jet. No one is rioting over this.
It reminded me of those five minutes before Joker came out when the PR people were like, this movie might cause legit civil unrest and then people actually saw the movie and were like, Nah.
Next up is Tár which I meant to watch this week, but I feel like you have to be in a certain headspace for the three hour Cate Blanchett Me Too movie.
M3GAN - PG-13/15 is kind of my sweet spot for horror, because I can be pretty sure that it won't be too gory for me, although I am told there is an unrated version that is muuuch more bloody, and which I will never, ever watch. Even so, this was upsetting. The uncanny valley effect of the little robot girl? Upsetting. The effed up way she moved? Upsetting. The creepy little robot girl killing that dog? Upsetting. The creepy little robot girl kinda trying to seduce the aunt and referring to the real kid as 'their' child? Extremely upsetting.
Like, it's a good movie and I really enjoyed it, but I was very upset.
Paddington in Peru - The second Paddington movie is the greatest cinematic feat of all time, and I will be taking no questions at this or any other time. This third outing was...fine. It's still more charming than not, the cast for the most part look like they're having a crapload of fun - if Olivia Coleman isn't having the time of her life dressed as a nun and singing a musical number about Paddington coming to Peru then she's an even better actor that I thought she was. But it loses a lot from not being set in that stylised, idealised version of London, and, idk, the magic is just gone a bit.
The Fall Guy - BEST MOVIE OF THE WEEK, HANDS DOWN. Utterly delightful, smiled the whole time it was on, big Not a Christmas Movie But a Christmas Movie Really vibes, would even watch the hilarious looking space cowboy movie that the Emily Blunt character was directing.
It made me pine a little bit for the heyday of physical media, because the end credits are intercut with clips of them filming the physical stunts, and in the days of yore there would have been a hour long special feature just about that, and I would have bought the DVD just for that.
Black Adam - There is a parallel dimension where Black Adam is the second lead in a perfectly fine Shazam movie, but we don't live in that dimension, we live in this one where the Rock's ego got in the way, where the plague meant that the actor playing young Billy aged out, where Zachary Levi went insane, and the director decided he just wants to be a guy who makes horror movies, and so we get this movie.
The weird thing is that it's not entirely bad - I for one enjoyed seeing Sarah Shahi getting to do her Lara Croft thing - but it's also not particularly good. It is, in fact, a perfectly serviceable superhero movie circa 2008.
The thing that did strike me about it is how dumb the Rock looks in the Black Adam suit. Like, live action superhero costumes are silly almost by definition, but there's a lot costume design can do, and actors are usually super charismatic people who can style it out. Like, take the Hawkman costume. Super dumb, right? But it's visually interesting to look at, especially in motion, and Aldis Hodge is one of the most charismatic men alive and he makes it work. Whereas every time I saw the Rock as Black Adam all I could think was: how much gear do you have to take to get biceps on your neck and is it too much gear? (Yea, probably.)
The Hunt - Does anyone remember when this movie wasn't going to be released because they thought it might cause, like, a riot? Because the plot on paper was that a bunch of liberal elites were dangerous-game-ing a bunch of Trump voters. Except, it's a Blumhouse satire, so the liberals are a Fox News fever dream of nineteen year old leftists only with all the money in the world, and the 'deplorables' are all the broadest stereotypes imaginable before being killed in a variety of OTT ways, and in a win for reactionary centrism the main character is only there due to a case of mistaken identity.
The final boss fight between Betty Gilpin and Hilary Swank is so camp that put them both in sequins you've got your final series of GLOW right there, and it ends with a Final Girl scene involving Betty Gilpin, a borzoi, a cocktail dress, and a private jet. No one is rioting over this.
It reminded me of those five minutes before Joker came out when the PR people were like, this movie might cause legit civil unrest and then people actually saw the movie and were like, Nah.
Next up is Tár which I meant to watch this week, but I feel like you have to be in a certain headspace for the three hour Cate Blanchett Me Too movie.