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Title: The Queen is Dead, Long Live the Queen
Fandom: Doctor Who/Merlin
Characters: Jenny, Arthur, Lancelot, Morgana
Rating: G
Word Count: 709
Summary: The one where Lady Vivian is really the Doctor's daughter

“Your highness.”

Arthur grunted and attempted to bury his face in the pillows.

“Sire.”

Arthur wrapped an arm around Gwen.

“Arthur,” the voice insisted.

“Lancelot,” said Arthur, “is it dawn?”

“No, sire.”

“Is the kingdom being invaded?”

“No, sire.”

“Is the castle on fire?”

“No, sire.”

“Then why are you in my chambers?”

“Er, Arthur,” said Gwen, “I really think you should wake up. Queen Vivian is here.”

“Huh?” said Arthur blearily, sitting up.

The last time he’d seen Lady Vivian she’d been grinning inanely at him as King Olaf manhandled her onto a horse. Now she was wearing trousers with a broadsword strapped at her hip, and she was holding a dagger to Lancelot’s throat.

She was still grinning at him, though. “Hello, my love,” she said.

Arthur squeaked and pulled the sheet up to his chin.

Vivian cast Lancelot aside and jumped onto the bed, clambering over Gwen who let out an indignant squeal. Arthur grabbed her to throw her backwards, but something cool and metallic pressed against his neck and everything went black.

*

When Arthur woke up he was strapped to a chair in a room he didn’t recognise, it looked like nothing so much as Gaius’s workshop after that time Merlin had gotten drunk on pear cider and performed experimental magic.

There was Vivian, examining a vial of some fluid.

“Good morning, my love.”

“Vivian, I am not your love.”

“My name’s not Vivian, it’s Jenny.” Vivian, or Jenny or whoever she was hopped cheerfully onto a workbench. “And this is my TARDIS.”

Arthur had heard that Queen Vivian had gone mad after her father had died; wearing trousers and introducing democracy of all things, before vanishing completely.

“Viv—Jenny.” Arthur had heard that you should humour lunatics. Actually, he had heard that you should behead them, but the only sword in the room was strapped to Jenny’s hip. “Why have you brought me here?”

“Because I’m in love with you, silly, and I’d really rather not be.”

“I’m a married ma— Wait, you don’t want to be in love with me?” Arthur was confused, and to be honest, a little offended.

“Of course not. I didn’t even want to come to Albion, but Romana shoved me under the chameleon arch to keep me hidden during all that end of time nonsense.”

Arthur nodded encouragingly. As long as she was talking she wasn’t doing anything with that sword, or having her wicked way with him.

“And it was actually fun being Lady Vivian for a while, I had servants and my own claymore. But then I went to Camelot and had that stupid love spell put on me. And, by the way,” she said with a tiny frown, “it was quite horrible of you to just leave me like that.”

“You were under a spell?”

“Of course. You’re not really my type. Sorry. Even when I was Vivian I vastly preferred, oh, what was her name, the girl with long dark hair?”

“Morgana?”

“Yes! How is she?”

“Evil.”

“Oh,” said Jenny, in the tone of voice of someone who didn’t see that as a massive barrier.

“Anyway, I got my memory back and left Albion to save planets, which was brilliant, but I kept getting distracted by soppy thoughts of you, which is rather inconvenient when you’re dodging dalek death rays.”

“ So,” Jenny spread her arms wide and spun in circle, “here I am.”

“Yes. About that, if you’re not really in love with me, why did you kidnap me?”

Jenny beamed at him, leaned over his restrained form and pulled a clump of hair from his head.

“Bloody ow!”

“Just needed a genetic sample for the antidote,” she said cheerfully, flouncing back to her workbench.

*

Merlin, Lancelot and the rescue party of knights discovered their monarch in the woods darkly muttering, “Not her type indeed.”

*

Morgana was wandering the island’s shoreline when the blue box appeared and out stepped a brightly smiling Queen Vivian.

“Hello, I hear you’re evil now.”

“It’s complicated; I have this sort of doomed destiny.”

“So you wouldn’t want to come with me to save planets? There’d be running, and handholding. Almost no doom.”

“I’ve never liked doom much, anyway.”

“Brilliant! I’m Jenny, by the way...”
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