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Blanket permission: Please feel free to remix, podfic, or really do anything you like with anything I've written. I'd love it if you'd drop me a link when you're done, though.
( Whoniverse )
( Merlin )
( Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire )
( Misc. fandoms: Legend of the Seeker, Discworld, Being Human, The West Wing, Warehouse 13, The Queen's Thief, Once Upon a Time )
( Crossovers & Fusions )
Stuff.
Just had a lovely walk with Freya around the park. Met a dog called Elmo, a dog called Fenrir, and a dog called Gus, which cover all three of the platonic ideals of dog naming, 1) this is a muppet, 2) this is a wolf, and 3) this is an elderly human.
Freya and I also took a little trip last weekend up to Inverness to hang out with![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tamoline and her wife who were on holiday up there, which was a lot of fun, not least because Freya accidentally tobogganed down their stairs, got herself trapped in their kitchen, and then decided that she wanted to live with them. If you are ever meeting online friends for the first time and are worried that it might be a little awkward I can highly recommend taking a stupid wolf with you as a conversation starter.
I happened to mention to my mum later that I'd gone up north to spend the day with some online friends who were up from England, and after a long pause she said '...I thought your internet friends lived in Germany?' To which I indignantly pointed out that I'm personable, people like me, I have more than one friend; this was met by a more sceptical look than you want from your mother.
We watched the series finale of Doctor Who, to which my reaction was, and still remains, holy, hail Mary pass, Batman! I am generally of the school of thought that spreadsheet dorks are a curse on most forms of entertainment, but I also kind of want to go to the pub with a Disney accountant just so that after, like, three drinks I can go 'So, Doctor Who, how's that math mathing?'
I also have gripes about how heteronormative the finale was, but that's increasingly the new normal, isn't it? I love living through a time of enormous backlash to any and all social progress orchestrated by history's greatest fuckwits.
In gayer news, here are some books that I have been reading:
The Unlikely Pursuit of Mary Bennet by Linz McLeod - Publishing a series of lesbian romances about Jane Austen characters is God's work, so I don't want to criticise it too harshly, not least because as a f/f regency romance it is perfectly delightful, but as a piece of Austen fanfiction it was, eh, Charlotte Lucas felt really true to character, but Mary Bennet could have been anybody, she felt half author's OC, half thinly veiled Lizzie.
That said, I will be picking up next year's The Miseducation of Caroline Bingley as soon as it comes out because God's work.
The Incandescent by Emily Tesh - I was so excited for this because Tesh's previous facist punching novel Some Desperate Glory had easily been my favourite of that year, so I was kind of bummed that I didn't like this one as much. Maybe it was the genre change, instead of sci-fi it was magical realism set at a contemporary magic school; maybe it was my class chippiness, I'm not entirely sure that private school pupils don't deserve to be eaten by demons; maybe it was that it was heavily talked up as having a central f/f relationship, which honestly felt kind of tacked on, while much more time was spent on the het relationship with a dude that the reader realises is the villain, like, a hundred pages before the protagonist.
Like, it's fine, it's good even, my expectations were just a bit out of control. Also, go read Some Desperate Glory.
The Vengeance by Emma Newman - Pirates, and werewolves, and vampires, and lesbians, oh my! Our protagonist has spent her life at sea during the golden age of piracy when she discovers her "mother" is no such thing, and embarks on a fish out of water road trip through pre-revolution France, running from werewolves, kissing girls, and fighting vampires.
Is it a lot? Yes. Is it totally awesome? Also, yes!
Freya and I also took a little trip last weekend up to Inverness to hang out with
tamoline and her wife who were on holiday up there, which was a lot of fun, not least because Freya accidentally tobogganed down their stairs, got herself trapped in their kitchen, and then decided that she wanted to live with them. If you are ever meeting online friends for the first time and are worried that it might be a little awkward I can highly recommend taking a stupid wolf with you as a conversation starter. I happened to mention to my mum later that I'd gone up north to spend the day with some online friends who were up from England, and after a long pause she said '...I thought your internet friends lived in Germany?' To which I indignantly pointed out that I'm personable, people like me, I have more than one friend; this was met by a more sceptical look than you want from your mother.
We watched the series finale of Doctor Who, to which my reaction was, and still remains, holy, hail Mary pass, Batman! I am generally of the school of thought that spreadsheet dorks are a curse on most forms of entertainment, but I also kind of want to go to the pub with a Disney accountant just so that after, like, three drinks I can go 'So, Doctor Who, how's that math mathing?'
I also have gripes about how heteronormative the finale was, but that's increasingly the new normal, isn't it? I love living through a time of enormous backlash to any and all social progress orchestrated by history's greatest fuckwits.
In gayer news, here are some books that I have been reading:
The Unlikely Pursuit of Mary Bennet by Linz McLeod - Publishing a series of lesbian romances about Jane Austen characters is God's work, so I don't want to criticise it too harshly, not least because as a f/f regency romance it is perfectly delightful, but as a piece of Austen fanfiction it was, eh, Charlotte Lucas felt really true to character, but Mary Bennet could have been anybody, she felt half author's OC, half thinly veiled Lizzie.
That said, I will be picking up next year's The Miseducation of Caroline Bingley as soon as it comes out because God's work.
The Incandescent by Emily Tesh - I was so excited for this because Tesh's previous facist punching novel Some Desperate Glory had easily been my favourite of that year, so I was kind of bummed that I didn't like this one as much. Maybe it was the genre change, instead of sci-fi it was magical realism set at a contemporary magic school; maybe it was my class chippiness, I'm not entirely sure that private school pupils don't deserve to be eaten by demons; maybe it was that it was heavily talked up as having a central f/f relationship, which honestly felt kind of tacked on, while much more time was spent on the het relationship with a dude that the reader realises is the villain, like, a hundred pages before the protagonist.
Like, it's fine, it's good even, my expectations were just a bit out of control. Also, go read Some Desperate Glory.
The Vengeance by Emma Newman - Pirates, and werewolves, and vampires, and lesbians, oh my! Our protagonist has spent her life at sea during the golden age of piracy when she discovers her "mother" is no such thing, and embarks on a fish out of water road trip through pre-revolution France, running from werewolves, kissing girls, and fighting vampires.
Is it a lot? Yes. Is it totally awesome? Also, yes!
Look For The Light
I'm trying to post here more. Sorry about that.
So I finished the second season of The Last of Us, a season of television that was...fine. There wasn't a single outright bad episode; there also wasn't an out and out banger like the Bill and Frank episode from S1, where it felt like they'd remembered that this was a television show and not a video game and took advantage of that. If anything, I thought it hewed too close to the game. And I say this as someone who liked the game - and by 'liked' I mean I played it to credits, broadly enjoyed the experience, and didn't go immediately insane and spend the next five years screaming into a front facing iPhone camera like a total weirdo.
And there were a few things that I thought the show did better than the game. The first was the attack on Jackson, which I though was pretty epic set piece. The second was Eugene's fate, in the game he's just an old guy who likes weed and has died of a stroke, here he serves as a neat bit of unflattering characterisation for both how cold Joel can be and how selfish Ellie can be, and marks the real beginning of their relationship breakdown. The third was Jesse, who is the very definition of an npc in the game, he has no strong feelings about his girlfriend dumping him for Ellie, about becoming a father, or being trapped in a war zone right up until he gets shot in the face, something he would presumably also be nonplussed about. I appreciated that the show let him be furious at Ellie the entire time he was in Seattle, and I thought it was kind of a cop out to have them make up immediately before the aforementioned face shooting.
But the main thing I thought the show did better than the game was the Ellie/Dina relationship. I really wanted to like it, too - it was a big triple A game with central f/f relationship - but the pregnancy plot twist was one of the spoilers that got leaked, and I was immediately so cross that I forgot to care that Joel died. I hate the 'unknowingly pregnant when they get together' storyline that was for a while endemic in f/f stories so much; I think I would hate it a lot less if even 5% of the time it ended in 'Look, I like you, but this relationship is a minute and a half old, and I don't want to be a parent' but, nope, it was always insta family.
I feel like I should clarify, because when I was talking about Andor I was kvetching about the Bix pregnancy storyline too, and, like, I like kids, I enjoy spending time around them - even right now, when my friend's kids are exclusively communicating in lines from the Minecraft movie - but, by God, I am a hard sell for stories about pregnancy.
Anyway, I liked the Ellie/Dina relationship a lot more on the show. The actress who played Dina was probably the MVP of the season, the actors had great chemistry, and I really liked the change where it was Dina who was with Joel when he ran into Abby's crew, it gave her a reason to go with Ellie to Seattle other than just because she's the love interest. Changing the speed at which Ellie and Dina's relationship developed so that they didn't properly get together until after they both knew Dina was pregnant changed that story from one I hated to one I merely disliked. I actually kinda liked Ellie's 'I'm gonna be a dad' line, both because I thought it was a cool line, and for Bella Ramsey's delivery, but it didn't solve the underlying problem for me, that show!Ellie, even more than Ellie from the games, does not seem like someone who wants to be a parent at nineteen or would be in any way good at it.
I badly wanted to be proved wrong, but I still think Kaitlyn Deaver has been horribly miscast. And, like, I don't want to slight her, she's been excellent in pretty much everything else i've seen her in, but her casting as Abby only makes sense to me if I assume she was slotted in as Abby after ageing out of playing Ellie (presumably without auditioning anyone else for Abby.)
The pacing was also weird as balls. Seven is an odd number of episodes, and if you're determined to keep the main character switch, why not just do one season of 12/14 episodes? You could even have a hiatus over the summer if you wanted to differentiate them.
The switch to Abby's perspective on the same three days, something that barely worked in the game, if that, given how divisive it was, is not something that is going to work when the show comes back in 18-24 months. And it feels like at least someone involved knew that, which is why the big emotional beats of the back half of the game (why Abby killed Joel/that Joel and Ellie were trying to patch things up) got moved up, because who's going to remember and/or care in two years?
What else? Let's see.
The converse of it all. I understand that Ellie, not unlike myself, is trapped in the terrible fashion choices of 2003, but trainers with no grip, no ankle support, and which rot if you get them wet are a terrible choice of footwear if your day job is fighting zombies in the snow.
Also, the amount of abuse that got thrown Ramsey's way, and HBO's lack of any kind of a response does not bode well for what, if any, safeguarding measures are being taken to protect the kids in the misbegotten HP reboot. God, that show is so fucked...
So I finished the second season of The Last of Us, a season of television that was...fine. There wasn't a single outright bad episode; there also wasn't an out and out banger like the Bill and Frank episode from S1, where it felt like they'd remembered that this was a television show and not a video game and took advantage of that. If anything, I thought it hewed too close to the game. And I say this as someone who liked the game - and by 'liked' I mean I played it to credits, broadly enjoyed the experience, and didn't go immediately insane and spend the next five years screaming into a front facing iPhone camera like a total weirdo.
And there were a few things that I thought the show did better than the game. The first was the attack on Jackson, which I though was pretty epic set piece. The second was Eugene's fate, in the game he's just an old guy who likes weed and has died of a stroke, here he serves as a neat bit of unflattering characterisation for both how cold Joel can be and how selfish Ellie can be, and marks the real beginning of their relationship breakdown. The third was Jesse, who is the very definition of an npc in the game, he has no strong feelings about his girlfriend dumping him for Ellie, about becoming a father, or being trapped in a war zone right up until he gets shot in the face, something he would presumably also be nonplussed about. I appreciated that the show let him be furious at Ellie the entire time he was in Seattle, and I thought it was kind of a cop out to have them make up immediately before the aforementioned face shooting.
But the main thing I thought the show did better than the game was the Ellie/Dina relationship. I really wanted to like it, too - it was a big triple A game with central f/f relationship - but the pregnancy plot twist was one of the spoilers that got leaked, and I was immediately so cross that I forgot to care that Joel died. I hate the 'unknowingly pregnant when they get together' storyline that was for a while endemic in f/f stories so much; I think I would hate it a lot less if even 5% of the time it ended in 'Look, I like you, but this relationship is a minute and a half old, and I don't want to be a parent' but, nope, it was always insta family.
I feel like I should clarify, because when I was talking about Andor I was kvetching about the Bix pregnancy storyline too, and, like, I like kids, I enjoy spending time around them - even right now, when my friend's kids are exclusively communicating in lines from the Minecraft movie - but, by God, I am a hard sell for stories about pregnancy.
Anyway, I liked the Ellie/Dina relationship a lot more on the show. The actress who played Dina was probably the MVP of the season, the actors had great chemistry, and I really liked the change where it was Dina who was with Joel when he ran into Abby's crew, it gave her a reason to go with Ellie to Seattle other than just because she's the love interest. Changing the speed at which Ellie and Dina's relationship developed so that they didn't properly get together until after they both knew Dina was pregnant changed that story from one I hated to one I merely disliked. I actually kinda liked Ellie's 'I'm gonna be a dad' line, both because I thought it was a cool line, and for Bella Ramsey's delivery, but it didn't solve the underlying problem for me, that show!Ellie, even more than Ellie from the games, does not seem like someone who wants to be a parent at nineteen or would be in any way good at it.
I badly wanted to be proved wrong, but I still think Kaitlyn Deaver has been horribly miscast. And, like, I don't want to slight her, she's been excellent in pretty much everything else i've seen her in, but her casting as Abby only makes sense to me if I assume she was slotted in as Abby after ageing out of playing Ellie (presumably without auditioning anyone else for Abby.)
The pacing was also weird as balls. Seven is an odd number of episodes, and if you're determined to keep the main character switch, why not just do one season of 12/14 episodes? You could even have a hiatus over the summer if you wanted to differentiate them.
The switch to Abby's perspective on the same three days, something that barely worked in the game, if that, given how divisive it was, is not something that is going to work when the show comes back in 18-24 months. And it feels like at least someone involved knew that, which is why the big emotional beats of the back half of the game (why Abby killed Joel/that Joel and Ellie were trying to patch things up) got moved up, because who's going to remember and/or care in two years?
What else? Let's see.
The converse of it all. I understand that Ellie, not unlike myself, is trapped in the terrible fashion choices of 2003, but trainers with no grip, no ankle support, and which rot if you get them wet are a terrible choice of footwear if your day job is fighting zombies in the snow.
Also, the amount of abuse that got thrown Ramsey's way, and HBO's lack of any kind of a response does not bode well for what, if any, safeguarding measures are being taken to protect the kids in the misbegotten HP reboot. God, that show is so fucked...
Andor
I've been watching Andor every week with friends, and honestly I've really liked the three episodes a week release schedule, it's made every week feel like an event, and the show has been mostly immaculate.
Mostly immaculate.
We got to the finale and I was asked what I thought...and there was a long pause...followed by a second long pause....and then, 'I do not think Bix should have been in season two.'
I hated, hated, that the final shot of the show was Bix With Cassian's secret baby. I thought that it horribly undercut his final hero walk through Yavin past the surviving members of Luthen's resistance accompanied by swelling heroic music. I've heard people suggest that it meant that Cassian's sacrifice wasn't in vain, and, like, it already wasn't. He succeeded. He got the plans out. He's the reason that Luke could take out the Death Star, that the Empire was defeated, that Anakin turned away from the dark side.
I've always hated the idea that having a biological child is the only thing that makes your life meaningful or gives you a legacy. It's why I hate the third season of Star Trek: Picard, a competently made season of television that I have borderline violent feelings towards.
I've been thinking a lot about Andor in relation to Arcane, two shows that were originally planned to go five seasons, had excellent, albeit very slowly paced first seasons, then were reworked to be over in two. Andor is admittedly the more sympathetic example, where the creative team were burned out and didn't feel like they could do five, whereas it seems like Arcane was cut down because it wasn't driving enough new players to League of Legends.
And, honestly, no one should play League of Legends, unless your idea of a good time is being called a slur by a child, in which case Go with God.
But Arcane tried to solve the problem by having fours seasons of plot happen in one, and ended up with a season of pretty rushed and occasionally incoherent television. Whereas I think Andor handled it much better; the four act structure, with every act skipping forward a year, really worked for me. I think it also helped that it had the skeleton of Star Wars to hang on, so that when the rebellion jumps from being Luthen and assorted lunatics running around the galaxy sticking spokes in the wheels where they can to a military/government in waiting on Yavin you don't find it jarring, it's like, Oh, yeah, this is where I came in in A New Hope.
And the pacing really worked when it came to the rising tensions of Ghorman, that it took years, but by the time the massacre happened not only did no one come to help, no one was ever going to because the propaganda arm of the Empire had successfully reduced the people there to some kind of inferior, unworthy form of persons who had had brought this on themselves.
Where the pacing didn't quite land for me was with the characters, the show rightly seemed to have some pretty clear ideas about where the characters would end up after five years, but because they only had twelve episodes the character development had to be sketched in broad strokes.
And, yeah, some of them were playing on easy; Luthen dies before seeing his new dawn, just as he said he would; Mon Mothma defects and is an open member of the rebellion, because we already know that's what happens.
Some of them just work; like, I don't need to see any more of Dedra and Syril's relationship to get it. And the endings both characters got were pitch perfect.
RIP Syril, you were this close to being a person; Long life, Dedra, no sympathy for fascism Barbie.
I did really appreciate the way the show showed both that fascism eats its young, and that it took so long for the Rebel Alliance to get its shit together because it was for the longest time a leftist circular firing squad.
But the story pacing v. character development thing brings me back to Bix. Like, it felt like there was a version of this show that went five seasons where Bix dealing with her torture at the hands of the Empire and getting her revenge is her season two arc, but because we have to wrap this up in twelve episodes that gets one scene, and then Bix is just kind of hanging around because her being there with Cas's baby in the final shot has already been penciled in.
The other bum note in the series was the way the Cinta/Vel stuff was handled. And, like, I've been noodling on this, because I don't hate that Cinta died in principle, but I do hate that in an otherwise immaculately written show it was like someone had gone 'Chat GTP, write me a dead lesbian storyline.' I also kind of hate that in the first season Cinta/Vel was written in that annoyingly 'plausibly deniable, live slug reaction, this has to edited out for hostile markets' Disney Star Wars way, only for season two to make it explicit only to kill the the non-white one, like, I have limited patience for straight people being very proud of themselves for reinventing the Hays Code.
I am a fucking hypocrite though, becuase I have been shipping Vel/Kleya ever since Vel eyed her up at the wedding and I was only delighted that she show ended with one of my favourite shippy dynamics: to whit, a literal drowned rat of a woman has somehow become the responsibility of another, differntly fucked up woman who emphatically did not sign up for this,
Anyway, I freakin' love this show. Like, I've got niggles, sure, but it's like.... it's like, Star Wars is never going to feel like t did when you were nine, because you're not nine anymore, but sometimes. when the stars align, it can feel like this.
Mostly immaculate.
We got to the finale and I was asked what I thought...and there was a long pause...followed by a second long pause....and then, 'I do not think Bix should have been in season two.'
I hated, hated, that the final shot of the show was Bix With Cassian's secret baby. I thought that it horribly undercut his final hero walk through Yavin past the surviving members of Luthen's resistance accompanied by swelling heroic music. I've heard people suggest that it meant that Cassian's sacrifice wasn't in vain, and, like, it already wasn't. He succeeded. He got the plans out. He's the reason that Luke could take out the Death Star, that the Empire was defeated, that Anakin turned away from the dark side.
I've always hated the idea that having a biological child is the only thing that makes your life meaningful or gives you a legacy. It's why I hate the third season of Star Trek: Picard, a competently made season of television that I have borderline violent feelings towards.
I've been thinking a lot about Andor in relation to Arcane, two shows that were originally planned to go five seasons, had excellent, albeit very slowly paced first seasons, then were reworked to be over in two. Andor is admittedly the more sympathetic example, where the creative team were burned out and didn't feel like they could do five, whereas it seems like Arcane was cut down because it wasn't driving enough new players to League of Legends.
And, honestly, no one should play League of Legends, unless your idea of a good time is being called a slur by a child, in which case Go with God.
But Arcane tried to solve the problem by having fours seasons of plot happen in one, and ended up with a season of pretty rushed and occasionally incoherent television. Whereas I think Andor handled it much better; the four act structure, with every act skipping forward a year, really worked for me. I think it also helped that it had the skeleton of Star Wars to hang on, so that when the rebellion jumps from being Luthen and assorted lunatics running around the galaxy sticking spokes in the wheels where they can to a military/government in waiting on Yavin you don't find it jarring, it's like, Oh, yeah, this is where I came in in A New Hope.
And the pacing really worked when it came to the rising tensions of Ghorman, that it took years, but by the time the massacre happened not only did no one come to help, no one was ever going to because the propaganda arm of the Empire had successfully reduced the people there to some kind of inferior, unworthy form of persons who had had brought this on themselves.
Where the pacing didn't quite land for me was with the characters, the show rightly seemed to have some pretty clear ideas about where the characters would end up after five years, but because they only had twelve episodes the character development had to be sketched in broad strokes.
And, yeah, some of them were playing on easy; Luthen dies before seeing his new dawn, just as he said he would; Mon Mothma defects and is an open member of the rebellion, because we already know that's what happens.
Some of them just work; like, I don't need to see any more of Dedra and Syril's relationship to get it. And the endings both characters got were pitch perfect.
RIP Syril, you were this close to being a person; Long life, Dedra, no sympathy for fascism Barbie.
I did really appreciate the way the show showed both that fascism eats its young, and that it took so long for the Rebel Alliance to get its shit together because it was for the longest time a leftist circular firing squad.
But the story pacing v. character development thing brings me back to Bix. Like, it felt like there was a version of this show that went five seasons where Bix dealing with her torture at the hands of the Empire and getting her revenge is her season two arc, but because we have to wrap this up in twelve episodes that gets one scene, and then Bix is just kind of hanging around because her being there with Cas's baby in the final shot has already been penciled in.
The other bum note in the series was the way the Cinta/Vel stuff was handled. And, like, I've been noodling on this, because I don't hate that Cinta died in principle, but I do hate that in an otherwise immaculately written show it was like someone had gone 'Chat GTP, write me a dead lesbian storyline.' I also kind of hate that in the first season Cinta/Vel was written in that annoyingly 'plausibly deniable, live slug reaction, this has to edited out for hostile markets' Disney Star Wars way, only for season two to make it explicit only to kill the the non-white one, like, I have limited patience for straight people being very proud of themselves for reinventing the Hays Code.
I am a fucking hypocrite though, becuase I have been shipping Vel/Kleya ever since Vel eyed her up at the wedding and I was only delighted that she show ended with one of my favourite shippy dynamics: to whit, a literal drowned rat of a woman has somehow become the responsibility of another, differntly fucked up woman who emphatically did not sign up for this,
Anyway, I freakin' love this show. Like, I've got niggles, sure, but it's like.... it's like, Star Wars is never going to feel like t did when you were nine, because you're not nine anymore, but sometimes. when the stars align, it can feel like this.
Books! Some Books!
The Woods All Black by Lee Mandelo - So this is a horror-ish novella set in 1920s Appalachia where a trans man (not the language used, obvs) working as a sort of roaming nurse comes to a small town that's suffering a fit of religious mania that's manifesting both as hostility to outsiders and the town collectively trying to take their local gender nonconforming teenager in hand. And it was working for me as a tale of 'we have always been here/some places can be basically safe to be a weird kid in right up until they aren't.'
Then it took a turn towards rape revenge fantasy that I wasn't wholly onboard with, then a sharp right turn towards graphic monsterfucking.
So, uh, that was a bit weird.
Hot Summer by Elle Everhart - I don't like reality television. I don't think it's bad, I don't think liking it is some kind moral failing, it's just by and large not my cup of tea. That said, there is one reality show that I do think should not exist and no one should watch, and that's Love Island, a show that has a death toll.
So if you can forget that this is a lightly fictionalised version of Love Island (something I only could intermittently) and if you are lucky enough to have never seen the show and so not get hungup on 'Hang on, there's no way there would ever be a queer love story on Heterosexuality: The Show' then this is a cute enough contemporary f/f romance.
A Libertarian Walks into a Bear: The Utopian Plot to Liberate an American Town by Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling - Obviously I read this because of the title, and the actual book doesn't quite live up to it, but this tale of a bunch of libertarians who move to a small town to prove that their ideas can work, and run smack bang into that fact that, like most things government does, there were bear control laws in place for a reason was pretty compelling, especially now that *gestures at everything*
Shroud by Adrian Tchaikovsky - Hostile Alien Planets and Why You Should Not Get Trapped On Them. My new favourite Tchaikovsky; yes, more than the spider planet one, yes, more than the one narrated by the Good Boy. It's just that good.
I got outbid on some fancy Tchaikovsky special editions in the genre creators for trans rights auction, which was fine, good cause and all. But I saw Tchaikovsky talking about the auction on bluesky, and he said something like if you'd read his work he hoped you'd already know he was a a supporter of trans rights, and, like, it's always good to get confirmation that someone you're a fan of is a good egg, but I have read thousands of pages of that man's work and all I could have said about him with any certainty is 'I think that man likes bugs.'
Private Rites by Julia Armfield - 'King Lear and his dyke daughters.' I'm not paraphrasing, that's a line in the book. I really enjoyed Armfield's novella Our Wives Under the Sea, and her first full length novel has a lot of the same themes, to whit, queer women being sad while soaking wet. It is longer, so, um, there's that.
Then it took a turn towards rape revenge fantasy that I wasn't wholly onboard with, then a sharp right turn towards graphic monsterfucking.
So, uh, that was a bit weird.
Hot Summer by Elle Everhart - I don't like reality television. I don't think it's bad, I don't think liking it is some kind moral failing, it's just by and large not my cup of tea. That said, there is one reality show that I do think should not exist and no one should watch, and that's Love Island, a show that has a death toll.
So if you can forget that this is a lightly fictionalised version of Love Island (something I only could intermittently) and if you are lucky enough to have never seen the show and so not get hungup on 'Hang on, there's no way there would ever be a queer love story on Heterosexuality: The Show' then this is a cute enough contemporary f/f romance.
A Libertarian Walks into a Bear: The Utopian Plot to Liberate an American Town by Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling - Obviously I read this because of the title, and the actual book doesn't quite live up to it, but this tale of a bunch of libertarians who move to a small town to prove that their ideas can work, and run smack bang into that fact that, like most things government does, there were bear control laws in place for a reason was pretty compelling, especially now that *gestures at everything*
Shroud by Adrian Tchaikovsky - Hostile Alien Planets and Why You Should Not Get Trapped On Them. My new favourite Tchaikovsky; yes, more than the spider planet one, yes, more than the one narrated by the Good Boy. It's just that good.
I got outbid on some fancy Tchaikovsky special editions in the genre creators for trans rights auction, which was fine, good cause and all. But I saw Tchaikovsky talking about the auction on bluesky, and he said something like if you'd read his work he hoped you'd already know he was a a supporter of trans rights, and, like, it's always good to get confirmation that someone you're a fan of is a good egg, but I have read thousands of pages of that man's work and all I could have said about him with any certainty is 'I think that man likes bugs.'
Private Rites by Julia Armfield - 'King Lear and his dyke daughters.' I'm not paraphrasing, that's a line in the book. I really enjoyed Armfield's novella Our Wives Under the Sea, and her first full length novel has a lot of the same themes, to whit, queer women being sad while soaking wet. It is longer, so, um, there's that.
May the Fourth Be With You
Happy Star Wars Day/My Birthday to all who celebrate.
I am forty-two, so presumably someone will be along any second to give me the envelope with the answers to Life, the Universe, and Everything, or at least a five pound note.
I am forty-two, so presumably someone will be along any second to give me the envelope with the answers to Life, the Universe, and Everything, or at least a five pound note.
Continued Adventures on Completely Normal Island
Following the UK Supreme Court's appalling decision the other week I've seen it suggested a couple of places that cis people should try to show our support more overtly visually, wearing trans pride badges and the like, which is one of those things that doesn't feel like it's enough, but also can't fucking hurt, right.
It did make me think of this one time last year when I ran into a distant acquaintance on the bus, and we were making awkward small talk until someone's stop when they noticed the trans pride badge I had pinned to my beanie and sort of went "Oh...I didn't know you were..."
And I panicked and and went, "Oh! I'm just a fan of their work!" and got off the bus.
I'm suave in real life.
It did make me think of this one time last year when I ran into a distant acquaintance on the bus, and we were making awkward small talk until someone's stop when they noticed the trans pride badge I had pinned to my beanie and sort of went "Oh...I didn't know you were..."
And I panicked and and went, "Oh! I'm just a fan of their work!" and got off the bus.
I'm suave in real life.
Telly
Been watching some good shows recently, chaps.
I watched Adolescence the week it was all anyone was talking about, and it was both as good as people say, I watched all four episodes when I'd only meant to sit down to watch one, and immediately became hugely overhyped. Netflix offered it to schools to show for free, and I can't think of much more likely to radicalise teenagers against a topic than making them watch a four hour drama that their parents/teachers think is worthy; also pretty ironic given that protracted subplot in episode 2 about how terrible it is that schools are just dumping kids in front of videos rather than actually teaching/interacting with them. Like, it is a very good show and I would recommend it to the three (3) people who missed it when it came out, but it did immediately fall into that peculiarly British political trend, last seen with Mr. Bates vs the Post Office where having watched a TV show about a difficult problem becomes a substitute for doing something.
"Minister, does your government have a plan to deal with Horizon IT scandal/online radicalisation/insert other crisis?"
"No, but we did have a group viewing of That Show and hope it winning a bunch of Baftas will solve the problem for us."
Anyway.
I watched the new Disney Daredevil, which first of all reminded me that I am still using the Netflix account of someone whose password I borrowed 'for a weekend' to watch the first season of Daredevil a decade ago, and second of all was really quite good. I do know that they changed showrunner halfway through because their first attempt wasn't landing, which is a step in the right direction for Disney whose output has recently tended towards the 'fuck it, that'll do' so that was obviously the right decision. It did mean that we got a bunch of pretty meh episodes in the middle (honourably excepting that one with Kamala Khan's dad, which was adorable) bracketed by a brilliant opener and finale.
I watched Cap 4 Captain America: Brave New Bird a while ago and it was a movie whose main message seemed to be 'The Walt Disney corporation has no stance on current politics, or indeed anything else' so it was a nice surprise to see Daredevil taking such bold stances as 'criminals seeking high political office for personal enrichment is bad' and 'cops cosplaying as the Punisher to enact extrajudicial violence are clowns, per Frank Castle.'
I did have a little giggle at that bit in the last episode where they were showing that Kingpin has all the vigilantes locked up in cages, but they have to pan really fast to disguise the fact that there's no one we know. That said, I am really looking forward to the next batch of episodes.
I had fallen off Wheel of Time after season one which I thought was...fine, but I was persuaded to catch up in time for season three and I'm so glad I did cause I had so much fun watching this. I've not read the books so I was frequently confused, although the show kind of makes me want to. Well, not read them, obviously, I have but one brief and wonderous human life, but at least listen to the audiobooks Rosamund Pike narrates. My favourite character continues to be Liandrin, who, yes, made a very literal deal with the devil, but under the circumstances, wouldn't you? I also think a lot of the gang's problems could be solved if people would only stop having sex dreams about Lanfear, although, again, perfectly understandable.
I really hope there's another season, although I do wonder if there's a spreadsheet somewhere at Amazon flashing red because this season looked astonishingly good, especially as Amazon has apparently decided that a bunging a bribe to the White House for the dubious honour of making a Melania documentary that no will watch is a good use of money.
My reaction to season two of Yellowjackets was mostly 'Oh No' so I was pleasantly surprised to find that season three was much more my jam. Although, making Hilary Swank wear that backwards pink baseball cap so people knew she was adult Melissa has got to be an example of not trusting your audience so egregious that it's going to be taught in screenwriting classes for years. I enjoyed the finale so much that I immediately went back and watched the pilot, and really appreciated the reframing/playing with memory of watching those two episodes back to back. Thinking back on season one it is pretty weird and cool that I am now firmly in the 'Misty is the only one of the adult characters who deserves the gift of human life' camp.
So, my friend Louisa was telling me her mum has been watching Yellowjackets and not really getting it, and has asked her to explain it, and, honestly I don't know how you explain this show without going: IT IS ALL A GIANT METAPHOR FOR LESBIANISM.
I am a big wimp when it comes to anything scary, so I belatedly watched The Haunting of Bly Manor, by which I mean I tricked people into watching it with me and telling me where all the scary bits were. It was excellent and not too scary.
Speaking of too scary. I knew, I knew, that The Substance was going to be too much for me, but I wanted to watch it anyway. Well, when I say 'watch', my eyes were closed pretty much the entire time. It was, as far as I could tell, a very good movie made up exclusively of a series of increasingly upsetting sound effects.
Also, some shows I was hyped about have come back...
Andor has not lost a step. Which is cool, because some people I know were really relying on this show to get through our current trying times. Not me, I have anchored my metal health to the new Superman movie being good. You know, like a normal person. Also, Mon Mothma getting blotto and trying to dance the fascism away...like, mood?
I was pleasantly surprised that the internet did not go insane at THAT bit of The Last of Us season two, which just goes to show that the howler monkeys last time were lunatics who should have been bullied off the internet at the very least. It is nice to see Bella Ramsey back as Ellie, although I do wish I was more on board with Kaitlyn Dever. I hope to like her more as the season goes on, but at the moment she feels as likely to beat someone to death with a golf club as I do (to whit, not likely).
The new series of Doctor Who continues delightful.
I watched Adolescence the week it was all anyone was talking about, and it was both as good as people say, I watched all four episodes when I'd only meant to sit down to watch one, and immediately became hugely overhyped. Netflix offered it to schools to show for free, and I can't think of much more likely to radicalise teenagers against a topic than making them watch a four hour drama that their parents/teachers think is worthy; also pretty ironic given that protracted subplot in episode 2 about how terrible it is that schools are just dumping kids in front of videos rather than actually teaching/interacting with them. Like, it is a very good show and I would recommend it to the three (3) people who missed it when it came out, but it did immediately fall into that peculiarly British political trend, last seen with Mr. Bates vs the Post Office where having watched a TV show about a difficult problem becomes a substitute for doing something.
"Minister, does your government have a plan to deal with Horizon IT scandal/online radicalisation/insert other crisis?"
"No, but we did have a group viewing of That Show and hope it winning a bunch of Baftas will solve the problem for us."
Anyway.
I watched the new Disney Daredevil, which first of all reminded me that I am still using the Netflix account of someone whose password I borrowed 'for a weekend' to watch the first season of Daredevil a decade ago, and second of all was really quite good. I do know that they changed showrunner halfway through because their first attempt wasn't landing, which is a step in the right direction for Disney whose output has recently tended towards the 'fuck it, that'll do' so that was obviously the right decision. It did mean that we got a bunch of pretty meh episodes in the middle (honourably excepting that one with Kamala Khan's dad, which was adorable) bracketed by a brilliant opener and finale.
I watched Cap 4 Captain America: Brave New Bird a while ago and it was a movie whose main message seemed to be 'The Walt Disney corporation has no stance on current politics, or indeed anything else' so it was a nice surprise to see Daredevil taking such bold stances as 'criminals seeking high political office for personal enrichment is bad' and 'cops cosplaying as the Punisher to enact extrajudicial violence are clowns, per Frank Castle.'
I did have a little giggle at that bit in the last episode where they were showing that Kingpin has all the vigilantes locked up in cages, but they have to pan really fast to disguise the fact that there's no one we know. That said, I am really looking forward to the next batch of episodes.
I had fallen off Wheel of Time after season one which I thought was...fine, but I was persuaded to catch up in time for season three and I'm so glad I did cause I had so much fun watching this. I've not read the books so I was frequently confused, although the show kind of makes me want to. Well, not read them, obviously, I have but one brief and wonderous human life, but at least listen to the audiobooks Rosamund Pike narrates. My favourite character continues to be Liandrin, who, yes, made a very literal deal with the devil, but under the circumstances, wouldn't you? I also think a lot of the gang's problems could be solved if people would only stop having sex dreams about Lanfear, although, again, perfectly understandable.
I really hope there's another season, although I do wonder if there's a spreadsheet somewhere at Amazon flashing red because this season looked astonishingly good, especially as Amazon has apparently decided that a bunging a bribe to the White House for the dubious honour of making a Melania documentary that no will watch is a good use of money.
My reaction to season two of Yellowjackets was mostly 'Oh No' so I was pleasantly surprised to find that season three was much more my jam. Although, making Hilary Swank wear that backwards pink baseball cap so people knew she was adult Melissa has got to be an example of not trusting your audience so egregious that it's going to be taught in screenwriting classes for years. I enjoyed the finale so much that I immediately went back and watched the pilot, and really appreciated the reframing/playing with memory of watching those two episodes back to back. Thinking back on season one it is pretty weird and cool that I am now firmly in the 'Misty is the only one of the adult characters who deserves the gift of human life' camp.
So, my friend Louisa was telling me her mum has been watching Yellowjackets and not really getting it, and has asked her to explain it, and, honestly I don't know how you explain this show without going: IT IS ALL A GIANT METAPHOR FOR LESBIANISM.
I am a big wimp when it comes to anything scary, so I belatedly watched The Haunting of Bly Manor, by which I mean I tricked people into watching it with me and telling me where all the scary bits were. It was excellent and not too scary.
Speaking of too scary. I knew, I knew, that The Substance was going to be too much for me, but I wanted to watch it anyway. Well, when I say 'watch', my eyes were closed pretty much the entire time. It was, as far as I could tell, a very good movie made up exclusively of a series of increasingly upsetting sound effects.
Also, some shows I was hyped about have come back...
Andor has not lost a step. Which is cool, because some people I know were really relying on this show to get through our current trying times. Not me, I have anchored my metal health to the new Superman movie being good. You know, like a normal person. Also, Mon Mothma getting blotto and trying to dance the fascism away...like, mood?
I was pleasantly surprised that the internet did not go insane at THAT bit of The Last of Us season two, which just goes to show that the howler monkeys last time were lunatics who should have been bullied off the internet at the very least. It is nice to see Bella Ramsey back as Ellie, although I do wish I was more on board with Kaitlyn Dever. I hope to like her more as the season goes on, but at the moment she feels as likely to beat someone to death with a golf club as I do (to whit, not likely).
The new series of Doctor Who continues delightful.
I Wrote a Thing!
I signed up for ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rarefemslashexchange and had kind of mixed feelings when I matched on ASOIAF fandom. On the one hand, it's not a fandom I have much interest in these days; the show ended with a whimper, I say this without rancour but the next book is never coming out, and House of the Dragon contains approx. seventy-three interchangeable blonde men that I cannot tell apart. On the other hand, it is a fandom I'm so comfortable writing in that it's like pulling on a pair of cozy, comfy old jammies.
Also, the requested pairing was Cersei Lannister/Lyanna Stark, which wasn't something I'd ever written or even really thought about, so that immediately had my brain fizzing with ideas. I ended up going with one where Lyanna survives the rebellion and is so messed up by this that fucking Cersei Lannister seems like a reasonable course of action, you know, as you do.
Castle of Rats (ASOIAF; Cersei/Lyanna; 3k)
You might have thought that after the realms tore themselves apart in Lyanna Stark's name people would have been happier when the girl herself was found alive in some godsforsaken corner of Dorne, but of course the men who had killed and died for Lyanna had done so for some imagined, untouched, silent paragon, and the grief stricken, vengeful, very much touched girl who returned only served to make them angrier.
So, yeah, that was fun. I should try to write more. I've missed it.
rarefemslashexchange and had kind of mixed feelings when I matched on ASOIAF fandom. On the one hand, it's not a fandom I have much interest in these days; the show ended with a whimper, I say this without rancour but the next book is never coming out, and House of the Dragon contains approx. seventy-three interchangeable blonde men that I cannot tell apart. On the other hand, it is a fandom I'm so comfortable writing in that it's like pulling on a pair of cozy, comfy old jammies. Also, the requested pairing was Cersei Lannister/Lyanna Stark, which wasn't something I'd ever written or even really thought about, so that immediately had my brain fizzing with ideas. I ended up going with one where Lyanna survives the rebellion and is so messed up by this that fucking Cersei Lannister seems like a reasonable course of action, you know, as you do.
Castle of Rats (ASOIAF; Cersei/Lyanna; 3k)
You might have thought that after the realms tore themselves apart in Lyanna Stark's name people would have been happier when the girl herself was found alive in some godsforsaken corner of Dorne, but of course the men who had killed and died for Lyanna had done so for some imagined, untouched, silent paragon, and the grief stricken, vengeful, very much touched girl who returned only served to make them angrier.
So, yeah, that was fun. I should try to write more. I've missed it.
Books n Movies
Books
idk, I guess I was going through my kindle alphabetically...
A Serial Killer's Guide to Marriage by Asia MacKay - Two serial killers who spent an extended honeymoon on a murder spree of dipshit men throughout Europe have settled down in the home counties with a baby and are trying to go cold turkey on the whole murder thing. If this sounds like it's just Mr and Mrs Smith but with serial killers then that's because it kind of is.
A Bluestocking's Guide to Decadence by Jess Everlee - Historical romance where a bookseller in a lavender marriage falls in love with the lady doctor she hires to take care of her husband's pregnant mistress.
Both of these were frothy, forgettable fun, but I think I'm going to branch out into a different naming convention.
Movies
Civil War - I actually saw this before I did my last movie roundup but I immediately forgot that I'd watched it, which is kind of a damning indictment of a film that seems to think that it has a lot to say.
Red Rooms - Excellent, tense French Canadian psychological thriller/horror about True Crime Brain set around the trial of a horrifying serial killer, that crucially for anything horror related, was not too scary for me.
Benedetta - You are a fifteenth century nun and you want to fuck a novice so bad that you start hallucinating transguy Jesus and commit heresy against Rome; someone is playing the dulcimer, Charlotte Rampling is here for some reason. Oh Paul Verhoven, never change.
Star Trek: Section 31 - Is this a good Star Trek movie? No, obviously not. But is it a fun Michelle Yeoh space romp? Also, no. It is Minimum Viable Product: the Movie.
idk, I guess I was going through my kindle alphabetically...
A Serial Killer's Guide to Marriage by Asia MacKay - Two serial killers who spent an extended honeymoon on a murder spree of dipshit men throughout Europe have settled down in the home counties with a baby and are trying to go cold turkey on the whole murder thing. If this sounds like it's just Mr and Mrs Smith but with serial killers then that's because it kind of is.
A Bluestocking's Guide to Decadence by Jess Everlee - Historical romance where a bookseller in a lavender marriage falls in love with the lady doctor she hires to take care of her husband's pregnant mistress.
Both of these were frothy, forgettable fun, but I think I'm going to branch out into a different naming convention.
Movies
Civil War - I actually saw this before I did my last movie roundup but I immediately forgot that I'd watched it, which is kind of a damning indictment of a film that seems to think that it has a lot to say.
Red Rooms - Excellent, tense French Canadian psychological thriller/horror about True Crime Brain set around the trial of a horrifying serial killer, that crucially for anything horror related, was not too scary for me.
Benedetta - You are a fifteenth century nun and you want to fuck a novice so bad that you start hallucinating transguy Jesus and commit heresy against Rome; someone is playing the dulcimer, Charlotte Rampling is here for some reason. Oh Paul Verhoven, never change.
Star Trek: Section 31 - Is this a good Star Trek movie? No, obviously not. But is it a fun Michelle Yeoh space romp? Also, no. It is Minimum Viable Product: the Movie.
Things I Have Been Putting in My Eyballs
Storm Éowyn didn't hit quite as hard as forecast here, though I will say that my dog was very determined to go outside for an animal with no natural defences against 90mph winds.
Comics
Star Wars: Doctor Aphra, Vol.1: Fortune and Fate and Doctor Aphra, Vol.2: The Engine Job - A while ago I askedambyr what was the best place to start with the Aphra comics, and received a long, thoughtful, and helpful answer, from which I honed in on exactly one line suggesting that if I wanted it to be All Queer, All the Time I should start with Alyssa Wong's run, and did just that. What? I never said that I wasn't predictable.
I had a rollicking good time with these comics. I did find myself wishing for a Disney+ series about fuckboy lesbian Indiana Jones running around the Star Wars universe, and then I thought about what the howler monkeys of YouTube would do to the discourse and then I didn't want that anymore.
Books
Breaking the Dark by Lisa Jewell - For secret reasons, Marvel decided to release a series of prose crime novels, and this first one is about Jessica Jones. The next one is about Daredevil, a character I am physically unable to care about, and at one point there was meant to be a Luke Cage one by SA Cosby, but, idk, that seems to have vanished. The book was broadly fine, but there were obvious points where the author was clearly consulting the cheat sheet Marvel had handed her, because the comic book elements were perfunctory at best. There was a bit where Madam Webb turned up, which wouldn't have been so funny before the movie but is hilarious now.
A Well Trained Wife: My Escape From Christian Patriarchy by Tia Levings - This memoir of Levings' abusive marriage as her husband drags their family further and further into Christian Nationalism is visceral and deeply upsetting. Her writing towards the end about how what she went through is what a lot of powerful men want for US women seems both straighforwardly correct and messy and unconvinced of itself, as is probably unavoidable when someone is writing about something that they are still working through.
Service Model by Adrian Tchaikovsky - This one is about a robot searching for purpose at the end of the world. It's a little bit Asimov and a little bit Murderbot, and was only okay. The good thing about Tchaikovsky is that he is so prolific that if you don't like one then another one will be along in a minute.
Lady Eve's Last Con by Rebecca Fraimow - This is a queer heist novel in space. I say again this is a QUEER HEIST NOVEL IN SPACE. An early contender for favourite book of the year, I think.
Mammoths at the Gate by Nghi Vo - The Singing Hills series of novellas is an absolute delight. This is probably my least favourite so far, only because I like it more when Cleric Chih is collecting stories rather than starring in them. But this is such a good series that 'weakest one' is still damn good.
The Secret History of Bigfoot: Field Notes on a North American Monster by John O'Connor - I enjoyed this so much more than I expected. Like, I think Bigfoot is silly, which is silly of me because I believe there is a dinosaur in Loch Ness. Well, not necessarily a dinosaur, but I do think there's something more than a lost family of seals down there. The author shows so much compassion and fondness for Bigfoot hunters while never missing a chance to get a dig in at Trump so we don't forget whose side he is on. Contains lengthy diversions on the psychological underpinnings of conspiracy theories as well as the hunt for the Ivory Billed Woodpecker.
It actually got me thinking about this theory of mine that I've been noodling on since I lost people down a couple of really ugly rabbit holes, which is that prior to the internet age we all had people in our lives who believed in, like, the Beast of Bodmin Moor or that the moon landing was fake. A bit weird sure, but basically harmless. But now the internet drives them further and further till they end up at fucking Q, blood libel shit.
Games
Star Wars: Outlaws and Dragon Age: The Veilguard - both games I played to credits, both games that left no lasting impression beyond big 'best game of 2017' vibes.
I feel like I'm spinning my wheels with games until Ghost of Yotei comes out. Sony really shat the bed with their doomed push into live service games, didn't they? It's always funny when a giant corporation fucks up in a way so obvious that even I - an idiot - could have told them exactly what was going to happen.
Movies
Wicked - I know nothing about Wicked. I hadn't seen the stage show or heard any of the songs. I think I read the book forever ago, maybe. So from my position of zero knowledge I shall just say this - this was delightful and Galinda and Elphaba should fuck it out.
65 - Okay, hear me out, I think there was too much Adam Driver and not enough dinosaurs in the Adam Driver dinosaur movie.
Hundreds of Beavers - Look, we're all having a rough go of it, and I'm not saying this delightful black and white slapstick comedy will make you feel better, what I am saying is at this point anything short of decanting absinth directly into your eyeballs has got to be worth a try.
Abigail - Recently I expressed an interest in a genre I call Horror for Babies (rated 15 max, basically) and this was recommended to me on the grounds that it was the same people who made Ready or Not, and while not as good as that one, this one about a bunch of crooks who kidnap a tween ballerina who turns out to be a vampire was very good indeed.
Telly
Creature Commandos - One of those delightful animated shows that could never have worked in live action, making the Bride of Frankenstein (voiced by Indira Varma, no less) the main character was an A+ choice, and I have been listening to the soundtrack on Spotify all week.
Superhero fatigue is real, but as soon as they announced that they were putting James Gunn in charge of DC I was like a baby making grabby hands at the keys someone was jangling in front of me.
Star Wars: Skelton Crew - Okay, this was a FUCKING DELIGHT. Best Star Wars thing since, jeepers, Andor. If you skipped it, which I nearly did, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It's a bit The Goonies, a bit E.T, and a lot what Star Wars felt like when you were nine.
I did notice that, unusually for a Star Wars thing, there wasn't a lot of conversation online about it. I do wonder if that's because the YouTube chucklefucks just didn't watch it, or because they know that being seen publicly bullying literal children would reveal their schtick for the ugly grift it really is.
Comics
Star Wars: Doctor Aphra, Vol.1: Fortune and Fate and Doctor Aphra, Vol.2: The Engine Job - A while ago I asked
ambyr what was the best place to start with the Aphra comics, and received a long, thoughtful, and helpful answer, from which I honed in on exactly one line suggesting that if I wanted it to be All Queer, All the Time I should start with Alyssa Wong's run, and did just that. What? I never said that I wasn't predictable.I had a rollicking good time with these comics. I did find myself wishing for a Disney+ series about fuckboy lesbian Indiana Jones running around the Star Wars universe, and then I thought about what the howler monkeys of YouTube would do to the discourse and then I didn't want that anymore.
Books
Breaking the Dark by Lisa Jewell - For secret reasons, Marvel decided to release a series of prose crime novels, and this first one is about Jessica Jones. The next one is about Daredevil, a character I am physically unable to care about, and at one point there was meant to be a Luke Cage one by SA Cosby, but, idk, that seems to have vanished. The book was broadly fine, but there were obvious points where the author was clearly consulting the cheat sheet Marvel had handed her, because the comic book elements were perfunctory at best. There was a bit where Madam Webb turned up, which wouldn't have been so funny before the movie but is hilarious now.
A Well Trained Wife: My Escape From Christian Patriarchy by Tia Levings - This memoir of Levings' abusive marriage as her husband drags their family further and further into Christian Nationalism is visceral and deeply upsetting. Her writing towards the end about how what she went through is what a lot of powerful men want for US women seems both straighforwardly correct and messy and unconvinced of itself, as is probably unavoidable when someone is writing about something that they are still working through.
Service Model by Adrian Tchaikovsky - This one is about a robot searching for purpose at the end of the world. It's a little bit Asimov and a little bit Murderbot, and was only okay. The good thing about Tchaikovsky is that he is so prolific that if you don't like one then another one will be along in a minute.
Lady Eve's Last Con by Rebecca Fraimow - This is a queer heist novel in space. I say again this is a QUEER HEIST NOVEL IN SPACE. An early contender for favourite book of the year, I think.
Mammoths at the Gate by Nghi Vo - The Singing Hills series of novellas is an absolute delight. This is probably my least favourite so far, only because I like it more when Cleric Chih is collecting stories rather than starring in them. But this is such a good series that 'weakest one' is still damn good.
The Secret History of Bigfoot: Field Notes on a North American Monster by John O'Connor - I enjoyed this so much more than I expected. Like, I think Bigfoot is silly, which is silly of me because I believe there is a dinosaur in Loch Ness. Well, not necessarily a dinosaur, but I do think there's something more than a lost family of seals down there. The author shows so much compassion and fondness for Bigfoot hunters while never missing a chance to get a dig in at Trump so we don't forget whose side he is on. Contains lengthy diversions on the psychological underpinnings of conspiracy theories as well as the hunt for the Ivory Billed Woodpecker.
It actually got me thinking about this theory of mine that I've been noodling on since I lost people down a couple of really ugly rabbit holes, which is that prior to the internet age we all had people in our lives who believed in, like, the Beast of Bodmin Moor or that the moon landing was fake. A bit weird sure, but basically harmless. But now the internet drives them further and further till they end up at fucking Q, blood libel shit.
Games
Star Wars: Outlaws and Dragon Age: The Veilguard - both games I played to credits, both games that left no lasting impression beyond big 'best game of 2017' vibes.
I feel like I'm spinning my wheels with games until Ghost of Yotei comes out. Sony really shat the bed with their doomed push into live service games, didn't they? It's always funny when a giant corporation fucks up in a way so obvious that even I - an idiot - could have told them exactly what was going to happen.
Movies
Wicked - I know nothing about Wicked. I hadn't seen the stage show or heard any of the songs. I think I read the book forever ago, maybe. So from my position of zero knowledge I shall just say this - this was delightful and Galinda and Elphaba should fuck it out.
65 - Okay, hear me out, I think there was too much Adam Driver and not enough dinosaurs in the Adam Driver dinosaur movie.
Hundreds of Beavers - Look, we're all having a rough go of it, and I'm not saying this delightful black and white slapstick comedy will make you feel better, what I am saying is at this point anything short of decanting absinth directly into your eyeballs has got to be worth a try.
Abigail - Recently I expressed an interest in a genre I call Horror for Babies (rated 15 max, basically) and this was recommended to me on the grounds that it was the same people who made Ready or Not, and while not as good as that one, this one about a bunch of crooks who kidnap a tween ballerina who turns out to be a vampire was very good indeed.
Telly
Creature Commandos - One of those delightful animated shows that could never have worked in live action, making the Bride of Frankenstein (voiced by Indira Varma, no less) the main character was an A+ choice, and I have been listening to the soundtrack on Spotify all week.
Superhero fatigue is real, but as soon as they announced that they were putting James Gunn in charge of DC I was like a baby making grabby hands at the keys someone was jangling in front of me.
Star Wars: Skelton Crew - Okay, this was a FUCKING DELIGHT. Best Star Wars thing since, jeepers, Andor. If you skipped it, which I nearly did, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It's a bit The Goonies, a bit E.T, and a lot what Star Wars felt like when you were nine.
I did notice that, unusually for a Star Wars thing, there wasn't a lot of conversation online about it. I do wonder if that's because the YouTube chucklefucks just didn't watch it, or because they know that being seen publicly bullying literal children would reveal their schtick for the ugly grift it really is.
Happy New Year
Who has two thumbs and got up at six am on New Year's Day to get into work five hours before she actually had to be there because she can't read a rota properly?
This guy.
This exemplifies how I intend to move through 2025: Wrong but with enthusiasm.
This guy.
This exemplifies how I intend to move through 2025: Wrong but with enthusiasm.
Last Year in Telly and Movies
What Were Your Top TV and Movies this Year?
Telly: After Marvel's recent subpar output, who had Agatha All Along being totally fucking brilliant on their bingo card? Because I did not. Fallout also had absolutely no business being as good as it was. I remember finding Ncuti Gatwa delightful in his first season as the Doctor, but I also haven't really thought about it since, and I was only so so on the Christmas special, but that may have been the day drinking
Movies: Both Godzilla Minus One (a serious meditation on what it takes to rebuild yourself as an individual and a society in the wake of war) and Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (a movie where King Kong uses a baby King Kong as a club to beat up some bad King Kongs) were 10/10 experiences for me.
What TV shows did you DNF this year?
The Rings of Power S2, House of the Dragon S2, Dune: Prophecy. It feels like there was a moment for this sort of high budget television fantasy, and that moment is now over.
What TV and movies you enjoyed more than you expected?
Telly wise, I had a brief love affair (four episodes precisely) with Bridgerton.
Movie wise, The Fall Guy was an absolute delight.
Which TV and movies most disappointed you this year?
Telly: S2 of Arcane is by no means bad, but its pacing is fucked in a way that is honestly impossible to ignore. Speaking of fucked pacing, that is not the worst thing about S3 of What-If?, which is doubtless the episode where Darcy Lewis and Howard the Duck have a biological child, which was both off-putting to watch and impossible to explain to any hapless relatives who happened to be in the room with you on Christmas Day, but that was a weird fucking season of television.
Movies: Paddington 3. The magic is gone, it just is.
Movies and TV that you had the most fun talking about, whether they were good or bad?
I talked about Agatha All Along so much that two separate people got me t-shirts that say 'If you want a straight answer ask a straight lady' for Christmas.
The discourse around The Acolyte was obviously pure poison, but with, like, five normal people I had fun trying to reverse engineer how a premise like a Star Wars murder mystery from the creator of Russian Doll, with that cast, and mouse money to spend ended up like...that.
For the same reason Madam Web was more interesting as a conversation piece than a movie.
Did you watch any TV or movies outside of your usual preferred genre(s)?
There was my fleeting, inexplicable interest in Bridgerton, and despite being a big wimp I am starting to dip my toes into horror - my sister is threatening to take me to see Nosferatu before she flies home.
Any TV or movies you're excited to watch in 2024?
Telly: I am very much looking forward to The Last of Us s2, and very much not looking forward to the discourse surrounding it.
Movies: Superman, Superman, Superman. Please, please, please be good.
Telly: After Marvel's recent subpar output, who had Agatha All Along being totally fucking brilliant on their bingo card? Because I did not. Fallout also had absolutely no business being as good as it was. I remember finding Ncuti Gatwa delightful in his first season as the Doctor, but I also haven't really thought about it since, and I was only so so on the Christmas special, but that may have been the day drinking
Movies: Both Godzilla Minus One (a serious meditation on what it takes to rebuild yourself as an individual and a society in the wake of war) and Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (a movie where King Kong uses a baby King Kong as a club to beat up some bad King Kongs) were 10/10 experiences for me.
What TV shows did you DNF this year?
The Rings of Power S2, House of the Dragon S2, Dune: Prophecy. It feels like there was a moment for this sort of high budget television fantasy, and that moment is now over.
What TV and movies you enjoyed more than you expected?
Telly wise, I had a brief love affair (four episodes precisely) with Bridgerton.
Movie wise, The Fall Guy was an absolute delight.
Which TV and movies most disappointed you this year?
Telly: S2 of Arcane is by no means bad, but its pacing is fucked in a way that is honestly impossible to ignore. Speaking of fucked pacing, that is not the worst thing about S3 of What-If?, which is doubtless the episode where Darcy Lewis and Howard the Duck have a biological child, which was both off-putting to watch and impossible to explain to any hapless relatives who happened to be in the room with you on Christmas Day, but that was a weird fucking season of television.
Movies: Paddington 3. The magic is gone, it just is.
Movies and TV that you had the most fun talking about, whether they were good or bad?
I talked about Agatha All Along so much that two separate people got me t-shirts that say 'If you want a straight answer ask a straight lady' for Christmas.
The discourse around The Acolyte was obviously pure poison, but with, like, five normal people I had fun trying to reverse engineer how a premise like a Star Wars murder mystery from the creator of Russian Doll, with that cast, and mouse money to spend ended up like...that.
For the same reason Madam Web was more interesting as a conversation piece than a movie.
Did you watch any TV or movies outside of your usual preferred genre(s)?
There was my fleeting, inexplicable interest in Bridgerton, and despite being a big wimp I am starting to dip my toes into horror - my sister is threatening to take me to see Nosferatu before she flies home.
Any TV or movies you're excited to watch in 2024?
Telly: I am very much looking forward to The Last of Us s2, and very much not looking forward to the discourse surrounding it.
Movies: Superman, Superman, Superman. Please, please, please be good.
The Year in Books
What’s the best book you read this year?
In fiction, it was A Sweet Sting of Salt by Rose Sutherland which is a kind of mashup of historical fiction, queer romance, and fantasy. Basically, what if we were lesbians, but it is the 1700s, and also you are a seal person. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
In non-fiction, it was Money Men: A Hot Startup, A Billion Dollar Fraud, A Fight For the Truth by Dan McCrum. I read a lot of these financial malfeasance books this year, but even in the really egregious cases like Enron and Boeing there was a real business there that got fucked up by terrible management and greed and a perverse set of incentives; the Wirecard fraud was fascinating to read about, because there was never a real business, it was just crime from the ground up, and it still took years to uncover.
In comics, NK Jemisin wrote a queer, black, female Green Lantern. Run, don't walk to read Far Sector.
What’s the worst book you read this year?
Someone You Can Build a Nest In by John Wiswell.
The premise of this book is basically: wouldn't it be funny if a cannibalistic shape-shifting flash monster fell in love with a human girl? And the answer is a resounding: No, no, not really.
The book that disappointed you the most?
Song of the Huntress by Lucy Holland, about the leader of wild hunt falling in love with the warrior Queen of Wessex, something something magic, something something the Welsh, was such a slog that it took the wind out of my reading sails for a solid month or three.
The hardest book you read this year (topic or writing style)?
It was well worth struggling to wrap my mind around Who's Afraid of Gender? by Judith Butler for her cutting takedown of the UK's terf industrial complex.
The funniest book you read this year?
Hype Machine: How Greed, Fraud, and Free Money Crashed Crypto by Joshua Oliver.
What? I find takedowns of financial scams laugh out loud delightful.
Alternatively, Don't Want You Like a Best Friend by Emma R Alban was like if an episode of Bridgerton and a Taylor Swift song had a little gay baby together.
The saddest book you read this year?
I read Learned by Heart by Emma Donoghue, which is a fictionalised account of Anne Lister's relationship with her first lover Eliza Raine, which made me unbearably sad for Eliza.
A book that touched you?
Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H. I've never been an immigrant and I'm not religious (one day I will successfully get rid of that last bit of lingering Catholicism), but a lot of the author's thoughts on sexuality, and gender, and gender presentation resonated deeply with me.
A(nother) book you read this year you want to recommend (maybe one that you haven’t mentioned yet?)
Lucky Red by Claudia Cravens, a western about a woman who goes from being an orphan to a whore to gunslinger, was excellent. As was The Disenchantment by Celia Bell, a historical novel about an affair and a murder between two French noblewomen.
Were you part of a reading challenge? Did you meet it?
I was trying to read fifty-two books this year. I made forty-seven. Yes, a lot of them were novellas, comics, and audiobooks. And, yes, those all absolutely count.
Which authors featured most prominently for you in 2024?
I read the first three volumes of Nghi Vo's Singing Hills series of novellas, and the only reason that I'm not up to date with the series is that they are such perfect little morsels that I save them up to have as occasional wonderful little treats.
The book series you read the most volumes of this year?
The only ongoing comic series I'm keeping up with at the moment is G. Willow Wilson's Posion Ivy, which continues to be very good.
The last book you finish this year?
Red Sonja: Consumed by Gail Simone, which was very good, and actually an excellent intro to the character if, like me, you've never read any of the comics.
The first book you will finish in the new year?
Probably one of the ones I got for Christmas, so either The Marble Queen, a f/f YA graphic novel, or that six hundred page doorstopper about the Challenger disaster, which were both from the same person.
The genre you read the most this year?
Lesbian romance. Comic books. Something something capitalism bad.
I contain multitudes.
Which books are you most looking forward to reading in 2025?
I don't know, I really don't, the best books are always the slightly unexpected ones.
And finally, make a New Year’s Resolution: How many books do you think you will read in the new year?
I am going to try for fifty-two again.
I try not to be too wistful for the time when I could read 100+ books in a year, just like I try not to be too mournful for my days of size twelve jeans.
Now is good too, and as long as I'm enjoying what I am reading that's what matters.
In fiction, it was A Sweet Sting of Salt by Rose Sutherland which is a kind of mashup of historical fiction, queer romance, and fantasy. Basically, what if we were lesbians, but it is the 1700s, and also you are a seal person. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
In non-fiction, it was Money Men: A Hot Startup, A Billion Dollar Fraud, A Fight For the Truth by Dan McCrum. I read a lot of these financial malfeasance books this year, but even in the really egregious cases like Enron and Boeing there was a real business there that got fucked up by terrible management and greed and a perverse set of incentives; the Wirecard fraud was fascinating to read about, because there was never a real business, it was just crime from the ground up, and it still took years to uncover.
In comics, NK Jemisin wrote a queer, black, female Green Lantern. Run, don't walk to read Far Sector.
What’s the worst book you read this year?
Someone You Can Build a Nest In by John Wiswell.
The premise of this book is basically: wouldn't it be funny if a cannibalistic shape-shifting flash monster fell in love with a human girl? And the answer is a resounding: No, no, not really.
The book that disappointed you the most?
Song of the Huntress by Lucy Holland, about the leader of wild hunt falling in love with the warrior Queen of Wessex, something something magic, something something the Welsh, was such a slog that it took the wind out of my reading sails for a solid month or three.
The hardest book you read this year (topic or writing style)?
It was well worth struggling to wrap my mind around Who's Afraid of Gender? by Judith Butler for her cutting takedown of the UK's terf industrial complex.
The funniest book you read this year?
Hype Machine: How Greed, Fraud, and Free Money Crashed Crypto by Joshua Oliver.
What? I find takedowns of financial scams laugh out loud delightful.
Alternatively, Don't Want You Like a Best Friend by Emma R Alban was like if an episode of Bridgerton and a Taylor Swift song had a little gay baby together.
The saddest book you read this year?
I read Learned by Heart by Emma Donoghue, which is a fictionalised account of Anne Lister's relationship with her first lover Eliza Raine, which made me unbearably sad for Eliza.
A book that touched you?
Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H. I've never been an immigrant and I'm not religious (one day I will successfully get rid of that last bit of lingering Catholicism), but a lot of the author's thoughts on sexuality, and gender, and gender presentation resonated deeply with me.
A(nother) book you read this year you want to recommend (maybe one that you haven’t mentioned yet?)
Lucky Red by Claudia Cravens, a western about a woman who goes from being an orphan to a whore to gunslinger, was excellent. As was The Disenchantment by Celia Bell, a historical novel about an affair and a murder between two French noblewomen.
Were you part of a reading challenge? Did you meet it?
I was trying to read fifty-two books this year. I made forty-seven. Yes, a lot of them were novellas, comics, and audiobooks. And, yes, those all absolutely count.
Which authors featured most prominently for you in 2024?
I read the first three volumes of Nghi Vo's Singing Hills series of novellas, and the only reason that I'm not up to date with the series is that they are such perfect little morsels that I save them up to have as occasional wonderful little treats.
The book series you read the most volumes of this year?
The only ongoing comic series I'm keeping up with at the moment is G. Willow Wilson's Posion Ivy, which continues to be very good.
The last book you finish this year?
Red Sonja: Consumed by Gail Simone, which was very good, and actually an excellent intro to the character if, like me, you've never read any of the comics.
The first book you will finish in the new year?
Probably one of the ones I got for Christmas, so either The Marble Queen, a f/f YA graphic novel, or that six hundred page doorstopper about the Challenger disaster, which were both from the same person.
The genre you read the most this year?
Lesbian romance. Comic books. Something something capitalism bad.
I contain multitudes.
Which books are you most looking forward to reading in 2025?
I don't know, I really don't, the best books are always the slightly unexpected ones.
And finally, make a New Year’s Resolution: How many books do you think you will read in the new year?
I am going to try for fifty-two again.
I try not to be too wistful for the time when I could read 100+ books in a year, just like I try not to be too mournful for my days of size twelve jeans.
Now is good too, and as long as I'm enjoying what I am reading that's what matters.
Movies, Again
I got a new phone recently and every time I turn the bloody thing on it asks me if I want to set my 'AI' assistant, and no, no I don't, and if you ask me again, phone, I will hit you with a brick.
Anyway. My whole watch a movie every night project has fallen by the wayside to be replaced by a hopefully more sustainable watch two new to me movies a week thing, so let's see how that goes.
Blink Twice - This I watched by accident. Someone recommended me a movie with a similar, but, vitally, different title, and I failed at typing words into a search bar. And I'm not sure anyone would have recommended this to me because of my well known discomfort with onscreen sexual violence, that said I do not entirely regret watching this.
The plot of this is that two waitresses at a fancy event manage to finagle their way into an invitation to a billionaire's private island, and instead of being, he's fucking Epstein. Things get increasingly weird and creepy, like it turns out none of the other female guests knew they guys before they came to the island either, they start losing time, someone goes missing and no one else remembers her. The twist turns out to be that the island is home to particular species of snake whose venom causes memory loss and the men have been using this to assault the women nightly and have them forget about it every morning.
The onscreen depiction of this is more explicit than would be my preference, although definitely from the perspective of the female characters, which makes it less creepy although no less upsetting. The main bad guy is played by Channing Tatum, a guy I am so used to seeing in himbo romcom mode that it made him all the more terrifying here. It was also the directorial debut of Zoë Kravitz, one of the nepo babies who is not without talent, so I'll be interested to see what she does next.
A not uninteresting watch that nevertheless I shall never watch again.
The Kid Detective - This movie is why it is sometimes - yes, not always - but sometimes a good idea to pick a movie you've never heard of at random to watch, because this was so good. So the setup is that there is a little kid who is this genius detective who is lauded by his town and is better than the police. So far, so twee. But it almost immediately time jumps twenty years and the kid detective is now Adam Brody, a disaffected thirty something who is still looking for lost cats and trying to prove that eleven year olds are lying about having trained with the Mets, and then he's hired to solve a real case.
It's part mystery, part noir, and I really, really enjoyed it.
Tár - It took me a while to get this one after it popped up on Netflix, because a nearly three hour Me Too movie starring Cate Blanchett is not immediately the easiest sell in the world. I liked it. It doesn't feel nearly its length, Cate Blanchett's performance is immaculate, it's beautifully shot in a very self aware this-is-a-movie type way, and I've certainly thought about it a lot since.
Mostly, though, I found it interesting on a meta level. Like, you can really feel the invisible hand of the director here; the story he wanted to tell is overwhelmingly a story of things men do to women, and you can tell he knows that, and making the main character a woman is a choice that I lurch between finding an interesting way to talk around his point and a cowardly attempt to sidestep backlash. I do, though, suspect that if this movie was being made now only a couple of years later they wouldn't have bothered with the genderswap and just gone with a man, and I think that's bad, probably.
Knock at the Cabin - This is the first M. Night Shyamalan movie I've watched since The Beach That Makes You Old made me so angry I could chew glass, and it does that M. Night thing where he makes two thirds of a really good movie and then ruins it by over explaining everything because he's allergic to ambiguity.
The most interesting thing about this is the cast. Dave Bautista is excellent, by now well out of Drax the Destroyer mode. Not related to his performance here, but will somebody not cast this guy as the romantic lead in a romcom, he'd be so good. It was weird to see Rupert Grint show up, not just in the 'hey, I've not seem this guy in anything in a while' way, but in the 'hey, Rupert, how are those assorted tax crimes going?' way.
Attack the Block - A fun little fairly low budget alien invasion movie, mostly notable now for starring John Boyaga and Jodie Whittaker before they were better known for other things. Not a waste of ninety minutes if it pops up.
In the spirit of the season I have watched both Hot Frosty and Red One, and, hear me out, Hot Frosty is better. Like, okay, I watched it under ideal circumstances (with friends, while drinking slightly too much Bailey's, with the express purpose of making fun of it) but everyone involved with Hot Frosty understood the assignment. They were trying to make the movie Hot Frosty, and indeed they did. Red One is so forgettable that a) I have been calling it Red Notice all week, and b) if you told me that every single person involved here tripped and made this movie accidentally, I would believe you.
Anyway. My whole watch a movie every night project has fallen by the wayside to be replaced by a hopefully more sustainable watch two new to me movies a week thing, so let's see how that goes.
Blink Twice - This I watched by accident. Someone recommended me a movie with a similar, but, vitally, different title, and I failed at typing words into a search bar. And I'm not sure anyone would have recommended this to me because of my well known discomfort with onscreen sexual violence, that said I do not entirely regret watching this.
The plot of this is that two waitresses at a fancy event manage to finagle their way into an invitation to a billionaire's private island, and instead of being
The onscreen depiction of this is more explicit than would be my preference, although definitely from the perspective of the female characters, which makes it less creepy although no less upsetting. The main bad guy is played by Channing Tatum, a guy I am so used to seeing in himbo romcom mode that it made him all the more terrifying here. It was also the directorial debut of Zoë Kravitz, one of the nepo babies who is not without talent, so I'll be interested to see what she does next.
A not uninteresting watch that nevertheless I shall never watch again.
The Kid Detective - This movie is why it is sometimes - yes, not always - but sometimes a good idea to pick a movie you've never heard of at random to watch, because this was so good. So the setup is that there is a little kid who is this genius detective who is lauded by his town and is better than the police. So far, so twee. But it almost immediately time jumps twenty years and the kid detective is now Adam Brody, a disaffected thirty something who is still looking for lost cats and trying to prove that eleven year olds are lying about having trained with the Mets, and then he's hired to solve a real case.
It's part mystery, part noir, and I really, really enjoyed it.
Tár - It took me a while to get this one after it popped up on Netflix, because a nearly three hour Me Too movie starring Cate Blanchett is not immediately the easiest sell in the world. I liked it. It doesn't feel nearly its length, Cate Blanchett's performance is immaculate, it's beautifully shot in a very self aware this-is-a-movie type way, and I've certainly thought about it a lot since.
Mostly, though, I found it interesting on a meta level. Like, you can really feel the invisible hand of the director here; the story he wanted to tell is overwhelmingly a story of things men do to women, and you can tell he knows that, and making the main character a woman is a choice that I lurch between finding an interesting way to talk around his point and a cowardly attempt to sidestep backlash. I do, though, suspect that if this movie was being made now only a couple of years later they wouldn't have bothered with the genderswap and just gone with a man, and I think that's bad, probably.
Knock at the Cabin - This is the first M. Night Shyamalan movie I've watched since The Beach That Makes You Old made me so angry I could chew glass, and it does that M. Night thing where he makes two thirds of a really good movie and then ruins it by over explaining everything because he's allergic to ambiguity.
The most interesting thing about this is the cast. Dave Bautista is excellent, by now well out of Drax the Destroyer mode. Not related to his performance here, but will somebody not cast this guy as the romantic lead in a romcom, he'd be so good. It was weird to see Rupert Grint show up, not just in the 'hey, I've not seem this guy in anything in a while' way, but in the 'hey, Rupert, how are those assorted tax crimes going?' way.
Attack the Block - A fun little fairly low budget alien invasion movie, mostly notable now for starring John Boyaga and Jodie Whittaker before they were better known for other things. Not a waste of ninety minutes if it pops up.
In the spirit of the season I have watched both Hot Frosty and Red One, and, hear me out, Hot Frosty is better. Like, okay, I watched it under ideal circumstances (with friends, while drinking slightly too much Bailey's, with the express purpose of making fun of it) but everyone involved with Hot Frosty understood the assignment. They were trying to make the movie Hot Frosty, and indeed they did. Red One is so forgettable that a) I have been calling it Red Notice all week, and b) if you told me that every single person involved here tripped and made this movie accidentally, I would believe you.
Telly
I have been trying to watch more tv as and when it comes out, because I've realised that if I miss something at the time then I'm never going to go back to it. Like, the thing that really drove this home to me was that the trailer for season three of Wheel of Time was released, and it looks good too. Alas, I missed season two at the time, and now I can no more go back to it than I could if it had been deleted from the internet.
Now, you may ask, isn't that weird and irrational and lead to you missing out on stuff you would otherwise really enjoy? And, yes, yes it does.
So I made a point of watching season two of Arcane as it was coming out, and it was fine, it was good-ish. It is still very pretty to look at, and the constructive criticism that Caitlyn/Vi was too early-2000s plausibly deniable lingering looks was very much taken on board. But the pacing was fucked. If they only intended to do two seasons (something I don't believe for a second) then either season two is too rushed or season one is too slow, and probably both. It also, like, the best thing about season one is that you didn't have to know a single thing about League of Legends to understand everything, and while it was still perfectly possible to follow along, it did feel like I would have gotten a lot more out of it I was familiar with the game lore and like - shan't. I'm not going to play League of goddamn Legends and you can't make me.
I watched The Sticky, which is that Margo Martindale maple syrup heist show, and I really liked it, watched it all in one go. Well, that isn't quite true - it's six episodes and I loved five of them. By episode six it's become apparent that they're doing that thing where they are just not going to finish it so they can drag what should evidently be a 8-10 episode mini-series out over two seasons. It played right into my biggest bugbear with the current streaming landscape - and a lot of my problem with Arcane - come back in two years for the thrilling conclusion of this thing you won't really remember watching.
I'd had no intention of watching Skeleton Crew. I am, post Ahsoka/The Acolyte, kind of Stars Wars'd out. But one of my friends had watched the first couple of episodes with his kids and said that it was dead cute and I ought to check it out. And he was right! It was super cute! The first episode especially had big ET vibes. And, I dunno, Star Wars fandom is so full of forty year olds taking ourselves very seriously that I think it's good to get the occasional collective reminder that this is a series about space wizards intended for children, you know, like we were when we first fell in love with this stuff.
I also watched the first couple of episodes of Creature Commandos, which is exactly what you think it's going to be - Suicide Squad by way of the Harley Quinn animation style by way of James Gunn's id. There is a bit in episode two where the Bride of Frankenstein (as voiced by Indira Varma) has a prolonged fight scene with Circe the Wonder Woman villain to the sounds of Gogol Bordello's Start Wearing Purple where I was, like, yup, I'm here for this.
I would pay money for this show if only HBO would launch in the UK and, you know, let me.
Now, you may ask, isn't that weird and irrational and lead to you missing out on stuff you would otherwise really enjoy? And, yes, yes it does.
So I made a point of watching season two of Arcane as it was coming out, and it was fine, it was good-ish. It is still very pretty to look at, and the constructive criticism that Caitlyn/Vi was too early-2000s plausibly deniable lingering looks was very much taken on board. But the pacing was fucked. If they only intended to do two seasons (something I don't believe for a second) then either season two is too rushed or season one is too slow, and probably both. It also, like, the best thing about season one is that you didn't have to know a single thing about League of Legends to understand everything, and while it was still perfectly possible to follow along, it did feel like I would have gotten a lot more out of it I was familiar with the game lore and like - shan't. I'm not going to play League of goddamn Legends and you can't make me.
I watched The Sticky, which is that Margo Martindale maple syrup heist show, and I really liked it, watched it all in one go. Well, that isn't quite true - it's six episodes and I loved five of them. By episode six it's become apparent that they're doing that thing where they are just not going to finish it so they can drag what should evidently be a 8-10 episode mini-series out over two seasons. It played right into my biggest bugbear with the current streaming landscape - and a lot of my problem with Arcane - come back in two years for the thrilling conclusion of this thing you won't really remember watching.
I'd had no intention of watching Skeleton Crew. I am, post Ahsoka/The Acolyte, kind of Stars Wars'd out. But one of my friends had watched the first couple of episodes with his kids and said that it was dead cute and I ought to check it out. And he was right! It was super cute! The first episode especially had big ET vibes. And, I dunno, Star Wars fandom is so full of forty year olds taking ourselves very seriously that I think it's good to get the occasional collective reminder that this is a series about space wizards intended for children, you know, like we were when we first fell in love with this stuff.
I also watched the first couple of episodes of Creature Commandos, which is exactly what you think it's going to be - Suicide Squad by way of the Harley Quinn animation style by way of James Gunn's id. There is a bit in episode two where the Bride of Frankenstein (as voiced by Indira Varma) has a prolonged fight scene with Circe the Wonder Woman villain to the sounds of Gogol Bordello's Start Wearing Purple where I was, like, yup, I'm here for this.
I would pay money for this show if only HBO would launch in the UK and, you know, let me.
Question Time (the good one)
→ Comment with "Questions, please!"
→ I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you better.
→ Update your journal with the answers to the questions.
→ Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.
Questions from the lovelysummerstorm
1. What's been your best experience of a fandom as a f/f writer?
Okay, hear me out, because this is going to sound mad, because pre-show at least the book fandom was famously, viscerally misogynistic, but it's ASOIAF/Game of Thrones.
I think that there's a couple of different reasons for this - one is that it was a big and disparate enough fandom that we were all relatively silo'd from each other. Like, there were a significant number of people whose fandom experience revolved around Stannis Baratheon, and I'm happy for those people, and even happier that they were having their good time far, far away from me and I didn't have to know about it.
I think another reason is the sheer number of female characters. Like, were they all super well developed or treated well by the narrative? No, but raw numbers wise it was pretty impressive, especially for someone whose previous fandom experiences had been trying to find a thimble of f/f in a veritable sea of dudes. It also helped, I think, that there wasn't a designated One True Pairing in the way that a lot of big femslash fandoms have - think Kara/Lena in Supergirl. Like, I wrote a bunch of Sansa/Margaery, which was the closest thing the fandom had, and people seemed into it, but they also seemed to be into it when I wrote Lyanna/Ashara (two characters who died years before canon.)
And, honestly, I think that's what made this fandom so good for me, that it was the one where there was the biggest overlap between what I wanted to write and what other people seemed to want to read. And, like, I'm not saying you should write for head pats. Obviously I'm not saying that, see my Everything Else. I'm just saying, when the stars aligned, and the head pats came, they were nice.
So, yeah, I had a ton of fun in that fandom, and remember it fondly. Sometimes I wish I could get onboard with House of the Dragon, but there are so many dudes in it, and I can't tell them apart, and I hate them/him. I do, however, enjoy the version of it I experience by osmosis, which is largely about how divorced Alicent and Rhaenerya are.
2. If you had creative control over the next instalment of the Horizon series, what would you make sure happened in it? Mechanically or story-wise.
Recently I read - and I have no idea if this is true, although I hope it's not - that due to Playstation's pivot to live service games they haven't even started work on Horizon 3. And, if true, it is not too late for the developer to put a random Scottish nurse in charge of their flagship video game franchise. I stand ready. Just saying.
So, mechanically, I would get rid of the Ubisoft icon vomit that blighted the map in Forbidden West. Like, especially as a lot of the sidequests in the second game were substantial and meaningful and well-written, and unless you were going out of your way to be a completionist they could easily get lost in the sea of low effort, button mashy, zero skill nonsense. Pare it back. Main story. Meaty side quests. Maybe a couple of collectibles and optional enemies.
Story wise, I have but one request: do not, under any circumstances, have Aloy end up with Avad. Like, I enjoyed Sekya fine in the Burning Shores dlc, but I don't expect to see her again, and honestly, as an Aloy/Talanah shipper my main takeaway there was 'oh neat, Aloy has a type.' And Guerrilla Games responding to astroturfed Gamer outrage about them including very background queer characters in the first game by going 'did we fucking stutter' in the second was very cool.
But the fact that the Avad thing has carried over across two games, that it's part of the main story, and you get dialogue options to respond to his advances, even the harshest of which isn't a hard no, makes me think this is going to be a thing, and nope, no, it's weird and gross and uncomfortable. Please don't.
3. Favorite videogame of all time?
This question has so many answers, like, do you mean my favourite video game as a child? Sonic the Hedgehog; the game that got me back into gaming as an adult? Spider-Man; the game I have wasted the most hours of my one brief and wondrous human life playing? Elden Ring; the game I wish I was playing at this exact moment, and indeed at all other moments? Baldur's Gate 3; the game I will defend unto the death in stupid internet arguments? The Last of Us 2; the game that got me through lockdown? Borderlands 2/3; the game that is the reason I have a real relationship with my godson and am not just another grownup that sends him a birthday card with a five pound note in it? Rocket League.
Because, yes, that one.
4. Is there a videogame you utterly hated and if so, what made it so bad?
Here's the thing, gaming is an expensive hobby, and I am not made of money so I tend to give them a more generous shot than I would a form of entertainment that hadn't just cost me a fortnight's disposable income. And sometimes it's not the game, it actually is me. Like, I bounced off God of War, a famously good game, three times before getting out of the opening area and ending up loving it.
Sometimes the game actually is bad, but I don't care. Like, I have one hundred hours and the platinum trophy in Days Gone, a mashup of Sons of Anarchy and The Walking Dead that came out years after either of those had been a timely cultural reference.
And sometimes I believe you that a game is good, I believe you, I do, please stop talking at me. Like, I believe NieR: Automata is a heartbreaking work of staggering genius, I believe that there's a good reason that the player character is a combat android dressed as a kinky French maid, I believe that there's a good story reason that the open world feels so bland and devoid of life; I believe that it's good that this open world action adventure game is sometimes a bullet hell shooter with no save points. I believe that if I got to my second playthrough it would all make sense and I would love the game as much as other people do, but I am never going to get there because actually playing this game makes me want to fucking die.
5. What's the netgirl_y2k story? Like, how did you get into fandom? How long have you had this username? etc.
Okay, wow.
The year was 1999, y2k was a timely reference, and fifteen year old me was trying to sign up for a Buffy; the Vampire Slayer forum in order to argue that Buffy/Willow was a better pairing than Buffy/Faith - yes, I know - and I came up with the dumbest username in the world, which didn't matter because I was only going to use it for this one forum, and was going to discard it immediately afterwards, and it certainly wasn't going to become, for all intents and purposes, my name for the next, jeepers, twenty-five years.
I have had this username since I was fifteen. I am now forty one. I am approximately three hundred and sixty years old. I hate this for me.
I have, by the way, on a few different occasions, considered deleting everything and staring again with a less obnoxiously stupid username, and the main reason I don't is that I am an Odd Duck and I don't really know how to make friends or connect with people. Honestly, I don't know how any of you people got here, and frankly, I'm worried about scaring you off.
So, dumb name or not, I spent some time in Buffy fandom where I was mostly mad that one of the first mainstream lesbian couples on telly had all the romantic chemistry of two barbie dolls being smooshed together. I was in Doctor Who fandom, where by the 'hundred monkeys at a hundred typewriters' method I wrote one freakishly popular fic. I was the biggest killjoy in Merlin fandom for a while; man, that show sucked, and they did Morgana so dirty. Wrote a metric fuckton of Game of Thrones femslash, bounced around assorted other smaller fandoms (Person of Interest, Agent Carter, latterly Bridgerton.)
Over the years fic writing is a skill that has increasingly deserted me, but I'm still here, my inner 90s baby gay is still delighted every time two women kiss on screen because she's still somehow convinced that it is both the first and last time it will ever happen.
→ I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you better.
→ Update your journal with the answers to the questions.
→ Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.
Questions from the lovely
summerstorm1. What's been your best experience of a fandom as a f/f writer?
Okay, hear me out, because this is going to sound mad, because pre-show at least the book fandom was famously, viscerally misogynistic, but it's ASOIAF/Game of Thrones.
I think that there's a couple of different reasons for this - one is that it was a big and disparate enough fandom that we were all relatively silo'd from each other. Like, there were a significant number of people whose fandom experience revolved around Stannis Baratheon, and I'm happy for those people, and even happier that they were having their good time far, far away from me and I didn't have to know about it.
I think another reason is the sheer number of female characters. Like, were they all super well developed or treated well by the narrative? No, but raw numbers wise it was pretty impressive, especially for someone whose previous fandom experiences had been trying to find a thimble of f/f in a veritable sea of dudes. It also helped, I think, that there wasn't a designated One True Pairing in the way that a lot of big femslash fandoms have - think Kara/Lena in Supergirl. Like, I wrote a bunch of Sansa/Margaery, which was the closest thing the fandom had, and people seemed into it, but they also seemed to be into it when I wrote Lyanna/Ashara (two characters who died years before canon.)
And, honestly, I think that's what made this fandom so good for me, that it was the one where there was the biggest overlap between what I wanted to write and what other people seemed to want to read. And, like, I'm not saying you should write for head pats. Obviously I'm not saying that, see my Everything Else. I'm just saying, when the stars aligned, and the head pats came, they were nice.
So, yeah, I had a ton of fun in that fandom, and remember it fondly. Sometimes I wish I could get onboard with House of the Dragon, but there are so many dudes in it, and I can't tell them apart, and I hate them/him. I do, however, enjoy the version of it I experience by osmosis, which is largely about how divorced Alicent and Rhaenerya are.
2. If you had creative control over the next instalment of the Horizon series, what would you make sure happened in it? Mechanically or story-wise.
Recently I read - and I have no idea if this is true, although I hope it's not - that due to Playstation's pivot to live service games they haven't even started work on Horizon 3. And, if true, it is not too late for the developer to put a random Scottish nurse in charge of their flagship video game franchise. I stand ready. Just saying.
So, mechanically, I would get rid of the Ubisoft icon vomit that blighted the map in Forbidden West. Like, especially as a lot of the sidequests in the second game were substantial and meaningful and well-written, and unless you were going out of your way to be a completionist they could easily get lost in the sea of low effort, button mashy, zero skill nonsense. Pare it back. Main story. Meaty side quests. Maybe a couple of collectibles and optional enemies.
Story wise, I have but one request: do not, under any circumstances, have Aloy end up with Avad. Like, I enjoyed Sekya fine in the Burning Shores dlc, but I don't expect to see her again, and honestly, as an Aloy/Talanah shipper my main takeaway there was 'oh neat, Aloy has a type.' And Guerrilla Games responding to astroturfed Gamer outrage about them including very background queer characters in the first game by going 'did we fucking stutter' in the second was very cool.
But the fact that the Avad thing has carried over across two games, that it's part of the main story, and you get dialogue options to respond to his advances, even the harshest of which isn't a hard no, makes me think this is going to be a thing, and nope, no, it's weird and gross and uncomfortable. Please don't.
3. Favorite videogame of all time?
This question has so many answers, like, do you mean my favourite video game as a child? Sonic the Hedgehog; the game that got me back into gaming as an adult? Spider-Man; the game I have wasted the most hours of my one brief and wondrous human life playing? Elden Ring; the game I wish I was playing at this exact moment, and indeed at all other moments? Baldur's Gate 3; the game I will defend unto the death in stupid internet arguments? The Last of Us 2; the game that got me through lockdown? Borderlands 2/3; the game that is the reason I have a real relationship with my godson and am not just another grownup that sends him a birthday card with a five pound note in it? Rocket League.
Because, yes, that one.
4. Is there a videogame you utterly hated and if so, what made it so bad?
Here's the thing, gaming is an expensive hobby, and I am not made of money so I tend to give them a more generous shot than I would a form of entertainment that hadn't just cost me a fortnight's disposable income. And sometimes it's not the game, it actually is me. Like, I bounced off God of War, a famously good game, three times before getting out of the opening area and ending up loving it.
Sometimes the game actually is bad, but I don't care. Like, I have one hundred hours and the platinum trophy in Days Gone, a mashup of Sons of Anarchy and The Walking Dead that came out years after either of those had been a timely cultural reference.
And sometimes I believe you that a game is good, I believe you, I do, please stop talking at me. Like, I believe NieR: Automata is a heartbreaking work of staggering genius, I believe that there's a good reason that the player character is a combat android dressed as a kinky French maid, I believe that there's a good story reason that the open world feels so bland and devoid of life; I believe that it's good that this open world action adventure game is sometimes a bullet hell shooter with no save points. I believe that if I got to my second playthrough it would all make sense and I would love the game as much as other people do, but I am never going to get there because actually playing this game makes me want to fucking die.
5. What's the netgirl_y2k story? Like, how did you get into fandom? How long have you had this username? etc.
Okay, wow.
The year was 1999, y2k was a timely reference, and fifteen year old me was trying to sign up for a Buffy; the Vampire Slayer forum in order to argue that Buffy/Willow was a better pairing than Buffy/Faith - yes, I know - and I came up with the dumbest username in the world, which didn't matter because I was only going to use it for this one forum, and was going to discard it immediately afterwards, and it certainly wasn't going to become, for all intents and purposes, my name for the next, jeepers, twenty-five years.
I have had this username since I was fifteen. I am now forty one. I am approximately three hundred and sixty years old. I hate this for me.
I have, by the way, on a few different occasions, considered deleting everything and staring again with a less obnoxiously stupid username, and the main reason I don't is that I am an Odd Duck and I don't really know how to make friends or connect with people. Honestly, I don't know how any of you people got here, and frankly, I'm worried about scaring you off.
So, dumb name or not, I spent some time in Buffy fandom where I was mostly mad that one of the first mainstream lesbian couples on telly had all the romantic chemistry of two barbie dolls being smooshed together. I was in Doctor Who fandom, where by the 'hundred monkeys at a hundred typewriters' method I wrote one freakishly popular fic. I was the biggest killjoy in Merlin fandom for a while; man, that show sucked, and they did Morgana so dirty. Wrote a metric fuckton of Game of Thrones femslash, bounced around assorted other smaller fandoms (Person of Interest, Agent Carter, latterly Bridgerton.)
Over the years fic writing is a skill that has increasingly deserted me, but I'm still here, my inner 90s baby gay is still delighted every time two women kiss on screen because she's still somehow convinced that it is both the first and last time it will ever happen.
I Have Returned From a Brief Holiday...
...If by holiday you mean I relocated nine minutes down the road to stay at my friends' house and look after their three French Bulldogs. I took Freya with me, and, like, I adore dogs, they are one of the few things in life that bring me pure, unadulterated joy, but I think four dogs is maybe on the verge of being Too Many dogs.
The Frenchies are cool little dogs and I enjoyed hanging out with/being sat on by them, but I don't think I'd ever have one myself, partly for the obvious ethical reasons (why did we make dogs that can't breathe? Humans were a mistake), partly because I'd be too worried about what would happen if I accidentally got one wet or fed it after midnight, but mostly because what I'm really looking for in a dog is one that could come with me in the unlikely event that I was called upon to go on a quest.
Freya coped really well with suddenly having three unasked for small goblin friends, and has been given a bone as her just reward.
My friends' are huge fucking nerds, too. Which is great, so am I. I am a full believer in 'when I was a child I liked childish things, but now I'm a grown-up I can afford so many more childish things, behold my things!' But it's possible my mates have taken it too far because the room I was sleeping in contained a life size model of Master Chief, and I kept waking up at four in the morning convinced I was a) going to have to fight off an intruder, or b) being drafted in to fight the Flood, and neither is an activity I'd excel at at arse o-clock in the morning.
I took those days as holidays and mostly spent them hanging out with the dogs and watching my friends' giant ass tv. I tried not to watch anything too far off the reservation, especially after I house sat for Cam for a week a couple of years ago, and after he came back he texted, like, 'why does the algorithm think I'm a forty year old lesbian??'
I did take advantage of their Apple TV subscription to watch Silo, a show that may even be about something other than Rebecca Ferguson's pleasingly well-defined forearms, but who can truly say.
The Frenchies are cool little dogs and I enjoyed hanging out with/being sat on by them, but I don't think I'd ever have one myself, partly for the obvious ethical reasons (why did we make dogs that can't breathe? Humans were a mistake), partly because I'd be too worried about what would happen if I accidentally got one wet or fed it after midnight, but mostly because what I'm really looking for in a dog is one that could come with me in the unlikely event that I was called upon to go on a quest.
Freya coped really well with suddenly having three unasked for small goblin friends, and has been given a bone as her just reward.
My friends' are huge fucking nerds, too. Which is great, so am I. I am a full believer in 'when I was a child I liked childish things, but now I'm a grown-up I can afford so many more childish things, behold my things!' But it's possible my mates have taken it too far because the room I was sleeping in contained a life size model of Master Chief, and I kept waking up at four in the morning convinced I was a) going to have to fight off an intruder, or b) being drafted in to fight the Flood, and neither is an activity I'd excel at at arse o-clock in the morning.
I took those days as holidays and mostly spent them hanging out with the dogs and watching my friends' giant ass tv. I tried not to watch anything too far off the reservation, especially after I house sat for Cam for a week a couple of years ago, and after he came back he texted, like, 'why does the algorithm think I'm a forty year old lesbian??'
I did take advantage of their Apple TV subscription to watch Silo, a show that may even be about something other than Rebecca Ferguson's pleasingly well-defined forearms, but who can truly say.
Every Night is Movie Night vol. 2
This weekend I had to go to a Beetlejuice themed tween's birthday party, because time is a flat circle.
M3GAN - PG-13/15 is kind of my sweet spot for horror, because I can be pretty sure that it won't be too gory for me, although I am told there is an unrated version that is muuuch more bloody, and which I will never, ever watch. Even so, this was upsetting. The uncanny valley effect of the little robot girl? Upsetting. The effed up way she moved? Upsetting. The creepy little robot girl killing that dog? Upsetting. The creepy little robot girl kinda trying to seduce the aunt and referring to the real kid as 'their' child? Extremely upsetting.
Like, it's a good movie and I really enjoyed it, but I was very upset.
Paddington in Peru - The second Paddington movie is the greatest cinematic feat of all time, and I will be taking no questions at this or any other time. This third outing was...fine. It's still more charming than not, the cast for the most part look like they're having a crapload of fun - if Olivia Coleman isn't having the time of her life dressed as a nun and singing a musical number about Paddington coming to Peru then she's an even better actor that I thought she was. But it loses a lot from not being set in that stylised, idealised version of London, and, idk, the magic is just gone a bit.
The Fall Guy - BEST MOVIE OF THE WEEK, HANDS DOWN. Utterly delightful, smiled the whole time it was on, big Not a Christmas Movie But a Christmas Movie Really vibes, would even watch the hilarious looking space cowboy movie that the Emily Blunt character was directing.
It made me pine a little bit for the heyday of physical media, because the end credits are intercut with clips of them filming the physical stunts, and in the days of yore there would have been a hour long special feature just about that, and I would have bought the DVD just for that.
Black Adam - There is a parallel dimension where Black Adam is the second lead in a perfectly fine Shazam movie, but we don't live in that dimension, we live in this one where the Rock's ego got in the way, where the plague meant that the actor playing young Billy aged out, where Zachary Levi went insane, and the director decided he just wants to be a guy who makes horror movies, and so we get this movie.
The weird thing is that it's not entirely bad - I for one enjoyed seeing Sarah Shahi getting to do her Lara Croft thing - but it's also not particularly good. It is, in fact, a perfectly serviceable superhero movie circa 2008.
The thing that did strike me about it is how dumb the Rock looks in the Black Adam suit. Like, live action superhero costumes are silly almost by definition, but there's a lot costume design can do, and actors are usually super charismatic people who can style it out. Like, take the Hawkman costume. Super dumb, right? But it's visually interesting to look at, especially in motion, and Aldis Hodge is one of the most charismatic men alive and he makes it work. Whereas every time I saw the Rock as Black Adam all I could think was: how much gear do you have to take to get biceps on your neck and is it too much gear? (Yea, probably.)
The Hunt - Does anyone remember when this movie wasn't going to be released because they thought it might cause, like, a riot? Because the plot on paper was that a bunch of liberal elites were dangerous-game-ing a bunch of Trump voters. Except, it's a Blumhouse satire, so the liberals are a Fox News fever dream of nineteen year old leftists only with all the money in the world, and the 'deplorables' are all the broadest stereotypes imaginable before being killed in a variety of OTT ways, and in a win for reactionary centrism the main character is only there due to a case of mistaken identity.
The final boss fight between Betty Gilpin and Hilary Swank is so camp that put them both in sequins you've got your final series of GLOW right there, and it ends with a Final Girl scene involving Betty Gilpin, a borzoi, a cocktail dress, and a private jet. No one is rioting over this.
It reminded me of those five minutes before Joker came out when the PR people were like, this movie might cause legit civil unrest and then people actually saw the movie and were like, Nah.
Next up is Tár which I meant to watch this week, but I feel like you have to be in a certain headspace for the three hour Cate Blanchett Me Too movie.
M3GAN - PG-13/15 is kind of my sweet spot for horror, because I can be pretty sure that it won't be too gory for me, although I am told there is an unrated version that is muuuch more bloody, and which I will never, ever watch. Even so, this was upsetting. The uncanny valley effect of the little robot girl? Upsetting. The effed up way she moved? Upsetting. The creepy little robot girl killing that dog? Upsetting. The creepy little robot girl kinda trying to seduce the aunt and referring to the real kid as 'their' child? Extremely upsetting.
Like, it's a good movie and I really enjoyed it, but I was very upset.
Paddington in Peru - The second Paddington movie is the greatest cinematic feat of all time, and I will be taking no questions at this or any other time. This third outing was...fine. It's still more charming than not, the cast for the most part look like they're having a crapload of fun - if Olivia Coleman isn't having the time of her life dressed as a nun and singing a musical number about Paddington coming to Peru then she's an even better actor that I thought she was. But it loses a lot from not being set in that stylised, idealised version of London, and, idk, the magic is just gone a bit.
The Fall Guy - BEST MOVIE OF THE WEEK, HANDS DOWN. Utterly delightful, smiled the whole time it was on, big Not a Christmas Movie But a Christmas Movie Really vibes, would even watch the hilarious looking space cowboy movie that the Emily Blunt character was directing.
It made me pine a little bit for the heyday of physical media, because the end credits are intercut with clips of them filming the physical stunts, and in the days of yore there would have been a hour long special feature just about that, and I would have bought the DVD just for that.
Black Adam - There is a parallel dimension where Black Adam is the second lead in a perfectly fine Shazam movie, but we don't live in that dimension, we live in this one where the Rock's ego got in the way, where the plague meant that the actor playing young Billy aged out, where Zachary Levi went insane, and the director decided he just wants to be a guy who makes horror movies, and so we get this movie.
The weird thing is that it's not entirely bad - I for one enjoyed seeing Sarah Shahi getting to do her Lara Croft thing - but it's also not particularly good. It is, in fact, a perfectly serviceable superhero movie circa 2008.
The thing that did strike me about it is how dumb the Rock looks in the Black Adam suit. Like, live action superhero costumes are silly almost by definition, but there's a lot costume design can do, and actors are usually super charismatic people who can style it out. Like, take the Hawkman costume. Super dumb, right? But it's visually interesting to look at, especially in motion, and Aldis Hodge is one of the most charismatic men alive and he makes it work. Whereas every time I saw the Rock as Black Adam all I could think was: how much gear do you have to take to get biceps on your neck and is it too much gear? (Yea, probably.)
The Hunt - Does anyone remember when this movie wasn't going to be released because they thought it might cause, like, a riot? Because the plot on paper was that a bunch of liberal elites were dangerous-game-ing a bunch of Trump voters. Except, it's a Blumhouse satire, so the liberals are a Fox News fever dream of nineteen year old leftists only with all the money in the world, and the 'deplorables' are all the broadest stereotypes imaginable before being killed in a variety of OTT ways, and in a win for reactionary centrism the main character is only there due to a case of mistaken identity.
The final boss fight between Betty Gilpin and Hilary Swank is so camp that put them both in sequins you've got your final series of GLOW right there, and it ends with a Final Girl scene involving Betty Gilpin, a borzoi, a cocktail dress, and a private jet. No one is rioting over this.
It reminded me of those five minutes before Joker came out when the PR people were like, this movie might cause legit civil unrest and then people actually saw the movie and were like, Nah.
Next up is Tár which I meant to watch this week, but I feel like you have to be in a certain headspace for the three hour Cate Blanchett Me Too movie.
Listening to Stuff
After a very mild autumn, winter has arrived all at once, and every single conversation I've had this week has gone like this:
"Cold, isn't it."
"Baltic."
And then it'll turn into a weird sort of competitive coldness,
"I had to leave for work at half seven and it was -3 and it took me ten minutes to defrost the car."
"Well, I had to leave at half six and it was -5 and it took me twenty minutes to defrost the car."
And then a third person, who wasn't even involved in the conversation, will wander past and go, "My boiler is broken, so I don't even have hot water."
And so on.
I have been listening to a bunch of audiobooks recently, mostly because I took a bunch of political and current affairs podcasts out of circulation for You Know Nothing, Jon Snow reasons. And I find non-fiction easier to follow on audio, so.
The Smartest Guys in the Room: The Amazing Rise and Scandalous Fall of Enron by Bethany McLean - Okay, I love this book, I think it's the best and most readable of the big financial malfeasance books, but I accept that not everybody is in the market for a twenty hour audiobook about skullduggerous accounting practices.
It also turns out that I have strong feelings about the gender of audiobook narrators, at least in nonfiction - it's different in fiction, where you'd be casting more for characters - but I think in nonfiction, where the author is a woman the narrator should be too, especially in something like finance books that are still so male dominated.
When McKinsey Comes to Town by Walt Bogdanich - Or, How Management Consultants Ruined Everything. This one was infuriating on two different fronts; on the one hand there's the genuinely evil stuff, like advising ICE when they were putting kids in cages, or helping Purdue try to boost sales of oxycontin long after everyone knew the harm it was doing; on the other, there was these dumb chucklefucks thinking in early 2008 that the problem was over-regulation of subprime mortgage products, and Dido Harding of grifting her way through failing to make a working test and trace system fame having an infinite license to fail upwards because she'd been a McKinsey consultant for five minutes.
Limitarianism: The Case Against Extreme Wealth by Ingrid Robeyns - Robeyns makes a very compelling argument for why there should be a wealth cap - albeit one that confirms my priors - and is significantly less convincing on how we get one. She seems to be relying on the super wealthy consenting to give up their wealth, using the example of Patriotic Millionaires and Abigail Disney, and, like, sure, but if that was enough we would be at least a little bit of the way there, right? I'm also not sure that lumping people who have a few million in with people who have tens of billions is helpful to her argument.
Although, the limitarianism book mentioned Perdue Pharma, last seen in the McKinsey book, McKinsey themselves were bit players advising Enron.
And, like, I know it's systemic, I know the incentives are perverse, the thinking short term, and that there are a non-zero number of people who will Kill Us All before they allow the system to be changed, but my God, there being so many crossover characters in these books did nothing to cure me of my conspiratorial belief that there are, like, five bad guys in the world and it should not be beyond the ken of man to find out where they all live.
Wild Faith: How the Christian Right Is Taking Over America by Talia Lavin - As someone who seamlessly moved from indifferent Catholicism to indifferent Atheism I have always found extreme or enforced expressions of faith quite scary, and yeah, this scared me.
"Cold, isn't it."
"Baltic."
And then it'll turn into a weird sort of competitive coldness,
"I had to leave for work at half seven and it was -3 and it took me ten minutes to defrost the car."
"Well, I had to leave at half six and it was -5 and it took me twenty minutes to defrost the car."
And then a third person, who wasn't even involved in the conversation, will wander past and go, "My boiler is broken, so I don't even have hot water."
And so on.
I have been listening to a bunch of audiobooks recently, mostly because I took a bunch of political and current affairs podcasts out of circulation for You Know Nothing, Jon Snow reasons. And I find non-fiction easier to follow on audio, so.
The Smartest Guys in the Room: The Amazing Rise and Scandalous Fall of Enron by Bethany McLean - Okay, I love this book, I think it's the best and most readable of the big financial malfeasance books, but I accept that not everybody is in the market for a twenty hour audiobook about skullduggerous accounting practices.
It also turns out that I have strong feelings about the gender of audiobook narrators, at least in nonfiction - it's different in fiction, where you'd be casting more for characters - but I think in nonfiction, where the author is a woman the narrator should be too, especially in something like finance books that are still so male dominated.
When McKinsey Comes to Town by Walt Bogdanich - Or, How Management Consultants Ruined Everything. This one was infuriating on two different fronts; on the one hand there's the genuinely evil stuff, like advising ICE when they were putting kids in cages, or helping Purdue try to boost sales of oxycontin long after everyone knew the harm it was doing; on the other, there was these dumb chucklefucks thinking in early 2008 that the problem was over-regulation of subprime mortgage products, and Dido Harding of grifting her way through failing to make a working test and trace system fame having an infinite license to fail upwards because she'd been a McKinsey consultant for five minutes.
Limitarianism: The Case Against Extreme Wealth by Ingrid Robeyns - Robeyns makes a very compelling argument for why there should be a wealth cap - albeit one that confirms my priors - and is significantly less convincing on how we get one. She seems to be relying on the super wealthy consenting to give up their wealth, using the example of Patriotic Millionaires and Abigail Disney, and, like, sure, but if that was enough we would be at least a little bit of the way there, right? I'm also not sure that lumping people who have a few million in with people who have tens of billions is helpful to her argument.
Although, the limitarianism book mentioned Perdue Pharma, last seen in the McKinsey book, McKinsey themselves were bit players advising Enron.
And, like, I know it's systemic, I know the incentives are perverse, the thinking short term, and that there are a non-zero number of people who will Kill Us All before they allow the system to be changed, but my God, there being so many crossover characters in these books did nothing to cure me of my conspiratorial belief that there are, like, five bad guys in the world and it should not be beyond the ken of man to find out where they all live.
Wild Faith: How the Christian Right Is Taking Over America by Talia Lavin - As someone who seamlessly moved from indifferent Catholicism to indifferent Atheism I have always found extreme or enforced expressions of faith quite scary, and yeah, this scared me.