It's Like Hostage Negotiation

[netgirl_y2k]

Earlier this year my family and I agreed to split my grandmother's care more fairly so that I could 1) stop gently rattling with stress, and 2) start looking for work again. So a couple of phone calls to remind temp agencies that I exist, and some less than dignified grovelling later and I've got an admin monkey job for the month. At which point my family collectively goes: When we said we'd help you if you asked, it was on the assumption that you wouldn't ask.

*sigh*

All I want is to sit quietly on my own and type things for monetary remuneration, on the scale of people wanting totally unrealistic things it's not exactly up there with world domination is it?

Although, I do quite fancy world domination.

Comments

[glinda]

Now see, world domination I have skills to help you with. Family on the other hand... best I can offer is a hug...

[netgirl_y2k]

Excellent. When I finally snap and declare myself Empress of Everything Ever I may recruit your skills. You would of course be free to choose your own comic-villain esque title.

[glinda]

Excellent, I've already got a roller derby name so that will do in case of short notice world domination (and its not like my current job doesn't require me to make up my own/other people's job titles for it).

I for one welcome you as our new overlord.

[fyrdrakken]

Arrgh, yeah, your family has a solution to the grandmother-care problem that doesn't require them to do anything about it personally and are now objecting to a change in the status quo. Understandable on their parts, but they're going to have to suck it up and deal. At least spreading it out amongst multiple people means everyone involved shouldn't have too much to deal with.

[netgirl_y2k]

The thing is, I don't mind doing some of the work, even most of it, as when I'm not working I do have the most time, and I think I've got the best understanding of her... idiosyncrasies. But what my family don't seem to understand is that it's not about the money. Well, it's not just about the money. I need to get out sometimes, do normal things, talk to other people.

[selenay]

I completely get that. You can love your grandmother and be perfectly OK with caring for her, but sometimes you need time doing something else or you start to go slightly insane.

I've somehow acquired a large number of friends with small children. They all report the same thing: if they spend 24/7 with the kids, then even though they adore their kids it's all a bit much and they need company of the non-kid variety.

I can easily imagine that an, ahem, older lady with some, er, idiosyncrasies would have a similar effect.

Glad you managed to get them to make things a bit more equitable and get yourself out in the world, even just for a few hours a day.

[fyrdrakken]

Yeah, the caregiver problem, where it's not a formal job and you're not getting paid and thus you're not getting the respect or the acknowledgement of the need for regular time off -- it just has to be done, and somehow it's become your responsibility as no one else will do it. The "women's work" problem.