netgirl_y2k (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
netgirl_y2k) wrote2013-12-13 06:16 pm
netgirl_y2k) wrote2013-12-13 06:16 pm
Entry tags:
Today's Post is About Food
And comes in the form of a list.
-My favourite pizza topping is the thoroughly unimaginative pepperoni and mushroom.
-I am an occasional vegetarian. When I first came out as a lesbian I thought vegetarianism and cunnilingus were both compulsory. I still sometimes go six months to a year without eating meat and not really noticing or missing it, and sometimes I miss the fuck out of steak. Note: this time frame only applies to the vegetarianism.
-My favourite food is cheese, my favourite cheese is brie, and were there not a history of heart disease in my family I would eat it by the wheel.
-I can cook. Not well, but well enough that should the microwaves revolt and decide to starve us out, I'd scrape by.
-I learned to cook when I first went to look after my grandmother; she'd been in hospital for months after a broken hip, had hated the food, and lost a lot of weight. As a result a lot of the things I can cook are the sort of things you should be eating if you are elderly, and frail, and need feeding up.
-I make a treacle tart capable of making grown adults weep.
-I can make liver and onions that my Gran always said tasted exactly like what she had as a girl in the twenties and thirties. I never figured out of this was a compliment or not; I always found the bloody stuff inedible.
-I cook a very creditable medium steak. I actually like my steak rare, but I'm afraid of poisoning myself and dying.
-I am the queen of putting things on top of toast and calling it a meal. For example, for tea tonight is egg, spinach and pesto on toast, which I shall then present as florentine toast.
-I am trying to learn how to cook new things, though. My recent googling has included such things as "how do you make pâté" and "how to spatchcock a chicken", interspersed with such things as "how long does human blood take to congeal" and "how to dispose of a corpse using the Edinburgh night bus service". Um, those are for something I'm writing. No real world applications, I promise. It looks like the search history of someone who'd kill their partner, if only they could decide what to have for tea afterwards.
-My favourite pizza topping is the thoroughly unimaginative pepperoni and mushroom.
-I am an occasional vegetarian. When I first came out as a lesbian I thought vegetarianism and cunnilingus were both compulsory. I still sometimes go six months to a year without eating meat and not really noticing or missing it, and sometimes I miss the fuck out of steak. Note: this time frame only applies to the vegetarianism.
-My favourite food is cheese, my favourite cheese is brie, and were there not a history of heart disease in my family I would eat it by the wheel.
-I can cook. Not well, but well enough that should the microwaves revolt and decide to starve us out, I'd scrape by.
-I learned to cook when I first went to look after my grandmother; she'd been in hospital for months after a broken hip, had hated the food, and lost a lot of weight. As a result a lot of the things I can cook are the sort of things you should be eating if you are elderly, and frail, and need feeding up.
-I make a treacle tart capable of making grown adults weep.
-I can make liver and onions that my Gran always said tasted exactly like what she had as a girl in the twenties and thirties. I never figured out of this was a compliment or not; I always found the bloody stuff inedible.
-I cook a very creditable medium steak. I actually like my steak rare, but I'm afraid of poisoning myself and dying.
-I am the queen of putting things on top of toast and calling it a meal. For example, for tea tonight is egg, spinach and pesto on toast, which I shall then present as florentine toast.
-I am trying to learn how to cook new things, though. My recent googling has included such things as "how do you make pâté" and "how to spatchcock a chicken", interspersed with such things as "how long does human blood take to congeal" and "how to dispose of a corpse using the Edinburgh night bus service". Um, those are for something I'm writing. No real world applications, I promise. It looks like the search history of someone who'd kill their partner, if only they could decide what to have for tea afterwards.
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Also, things-on-toast is an excellent cooking skill.
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I like pepperoni and mushroom as pizza toppings but not really together? I have no idea why that is.
I can't cook...anything. I am a pro at using the toaster and the microwave, though. I am also really good at ordering take-out.
This post made me laugh out loud about 3 times, so thank you for that :)
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