Ages ago I read this Christopher Moore book, and one of the characters has a black labrador, same as me, and you get into the dog's pov and he thinks of his owner as "Food Guy" and his owner's mate as "Emergency Back Up Food Guy In Case Food Guy Dies" and it was like a light switch going on, My God, that's how they think of me.
Still, they'll do, because sadly the RSPCA would frown on me keeping a penguin in a tiny jumper as a pet.
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Still, they'll do, because sadly the RSPCA would frown on me keeping a penguin in a tiny jumper as a pet.