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Title: A Liar or a Lunatic
Fandom: Doctor Who
Characters Handy, Martha Jones
Rating: G
Word Count: 479
Summary: "I used to have two hearts."

Martha Jones hated working in the hospital on Christmas Eve. Still, it could be worse. Last Christmas there had been a Zeppelin which crashed just outside London.

“Martha Jones, hello!” Martha looked up to see a skinny bloke wearing a tight suit and far too much hair gel standing in front of her. “This might sound a little strange, but I need to get myself checked into this hospital.”


“I, uh, used to have two hearts.”

Martha sighed. Christmas always brought out the lunatics. “You want psychiatric, up the stairs, to your left.”

“No, hang on.” He took Martha’s hand and placed it on the left side of his chest and then moved it to the right. He looked at Martha; Martha looked back. He sighed and said, “Oh, right. That won’t work anymore, sorry.”


Martha finished her shift without anyone else claiming to have more organs than they should.

“Hello again!” It was the same skinny guy as earlier. This time he had taken his tie off and was holding it out to her.

“Why are you giving me a tie?”

“Last time I gave you a tie it convinced you that I wasn’t a liar or insane.”

“One, we’ve never met before today. And, two, you really think a tie could do that?”

“Well, I did travel through time to give it to you. Actually, I didn’t properly give it to you and it wasn’t really you, so...” He trailed off helplessly and Martha looked around the waiting area for a security guard. “I’m not explaining this very well, am I?”

“Not really, no.”

Hair Gel scrubbed his fingers through his hair, “Go home, Martha Jones. Go home and eat toast and be brilliant and I’ll think about how to explain this properly.”

Martha walked away and wondered if he was drunk.


The next time Martha saw him he rounded a corner in the hospital and collided with her. “Hello,” he said. “Fancy meeting you here, what with it being such a small hospital and you working here.”

There was blood streaming down the side of his face from a cut on his temple. “Here, let me look at that,” Martha reached out to him. “How did it happen?”

He batted away her hands, “I was clobbered by one of the robots. By the way, what I was really trying to tell you with all that stuff about hearts and ties is that your hospital is infested with robots.”

Martha was about to scoff when one of the robots crashed through the wall. Hair Gel grabbed her hand and pulled her down the corridor at what could be best described as a mad pelt.

“Who are you?”

“I’m the Doctor, or John Smith. Jackie Tyler calls me Handy.”

“Alright, Handy, what do we do now?”

“You and me, Martha Jones, we save the world.”
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